little bitty girl

This is a piece of advice to you ladies, and gents dating gents out there. (And I know you're probably thinking that I'm too young/unqualified/untried to be dispensing advice, but believe me, this advice is really just common sense.) When you are dating a guy and you are thinking in terms of a long term commitment, just be sure that you like at least 75% of his character/traits/habits, because you are NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, EVER, EVER going to change him.

I don't know why women always think they can, and when they don't succeed they take it either as a personal insult or a defeat. It doesn't make YOU lacking in character but at the same time, you would never want to have to change the essence of yourself for someone, so why the heck would you expect someone to do so for you?

My sister-in-law, Saint Irene, (she's not officially canonized but I think she's very close to it) is a perfect example of someone truly loving the other person for who they are. My brother Kelvin is one of the most articulate, caring, intelligent people I know and he is also the greatest scatterbrain at the most mundane tasks of life. He will rush around the house asking for his glasses when they are perched on his head. He's been known to go to work with one dress shoe and one running shoe. And I, as much as I love him, would never marry a person so scatterbrained in my life. I would kill him by the second day. (AND NO! I have never thought of truly marrying my brother! Gross! There is a reason why incest is ILLEGAL. I meant someone with his character.)

And, I mean, Irene isn't always a saint. Of course he drives her crazy too, but when he proposed and I warned her to think long and hard before accepting, she said with full confidence, "I know who he is, I know all his faults and I love him anyway." That, is love and acceptance in its purest form. And ultimately that is what we all want from our partners as well.

I don't mean to say that we, as people, don't ever change. Of course we do. I like to think that we are all like fine wines, that the subtleties and complexities of life will slowly change our essence for the better but the true sense of self, the thing that makes me, me? That won't change. I'd like to think I'd be less stubborn and bull-headed with age, and I am mellowing out a little, but I am still in many ways the same sort of person I was when I was a little girl.

So, if you hate the way he never puts the toilet seat down, or that sports is the true number one love of his life, or that he thinks he can still drink like he was a teen and then acts like he's dying the next day because of a massive hangover, or when he says he's not into marriage? You really need to honestly ask yourself whether you can truly, truly live with all those things. The most important thing to do is that you have to multiply that feeling of annoyance by a hundred and then decide.

As for me, I hate that Stefan is late for everything in life except when he is attending something sports related. So I've started lying about times we have to meet people so that we can show up just a little late as opposed to incredibly late. What? I didn't say you couldn't try to outwit them out of their bad habits, did I?