little bitty girl

Yesterday, I had a session with a personal trainer for the very first time in my life. No, I did not turn all "diva" all of a sudden; it just so happens with my membership you get a free initial consultation for an hour. I never ever took up on the offer until now, a whole year later, when I decided that spin simply wasn't enough and I was getting bored with my routine.

Plus, there are all these weird gadgets at the gym that I really have no idea what they do, so I figure - why not find out since this place is so bloody expensive anyways?

My personal trainer's name was Jen. Never trust small, unassuming, innocent looking Asian girls. Take it from someone from who is a small, unassuming, innocent looking Asian girl. I had taken Jen's ball class before and let me tell, the girl looks all cute and bubbly in her Paul Frank tee, but she is, at 5 feet or so of pure muscle and pure deviousness.

She asked me what my long term work out goals were and I told her I didn't have any really, although once in awhile I think I would like some abs and I wish I had more muscular legs. I'm lucky enough to have a mum with a really healthy self image, so I have never felt the need to be a waif. But I've always loved volleyball players, with their sleek muscular legs.

So straight off the bat, the girl makes me do lunges. I told her I hated lunges and she laughed and told me that most people hated them. But you see, as mentioned before, I seem to be a really weird anomally. I was really athletic and still am to some extent, but I am also a natural klutz. Co-ordination is not my strength. Anyways, she made me do front, side and back lunges over and over again and I nearly fell down like five times. It was really, really embarassing.

The worst part was she would ask in her really sweet voice,"So, on a scale of 0-10, what is your pain threshold right now and how much do you think you can do?" I would reply, "8.5 and rising!! I can do two more!!" And in her very calm voice, she would soothingly say, "That's excellent! Let's do 5 more, shall we?"

After doing a whole body circuit to determine my ability, we ended the session with just a general overview. I feel like I did really benefit from the whole experience and she was deceptively pushy but in a really positive way. Anyways, she said that I wouldn't really hurt until two days after the workout but she LIED!!!

I cannot walk, I cannot climb steps, muscles in my buttocks that I never knew existed hurt. Muscles in unknown parts of legs hurt. Basically, every nook and crany in every part of every crevice of any bendable part of my body hurts. So the moral of this story is, never trust an innocent who is built of pure muscle, when she tells you to do a million lunges that it's not gonna hurt.

Where's the vodka, I need to numb the pain.