little bitty girl

Father-Daughter relationships are a little tricky, aren't they? Especially Asian ones, or maybe that's just me. Actually, I talked to a lot of my Asian friends and they seem to have had almost the same experience as me. You grow up thinking your dad is like this superhero and then at some point you grow up and your dad congratulates you on getting your period and you think to yourself, AWKWARD!

My father is the giant in my life though. I grew up the typical Daddy's girl, being the youngest and the only girl. I remember how no matter how hard he had to work, my dad always tried to make it home by playtime so that he could spend that time with us. One of my most vivid first memories are of him teaching me to tie my shoe laces. He had taught me the conventional way but I was too impatient so he had to teach it to me the dumb-person way, "....one bunny ear, another bunny ear, cross and under and pull...". When I did it, he looked at me with such pride as if I was the smartest damn kid in the world.

My dad also took me to my very first kindergarden day. I think both my brothers had cried copiously at being left, or at the very least, I think Kenny did. I was me, from the very begining, independent and headstrong. I just ran to class and told him not to forget to pick me up after. I think had it been my mum and I had done that, she would have started crying and would have made it very traumatic but Dad just shrugged it off and told me to have a good time.

I think in many ways, because my dad had no real idea what to do with a girl, he treated me like one of the boys. I am forever grateful to him for that. If he was going to teach the boys how to scurry themselves across a rope tied to two trees, then of course I was going to be taught to do the same. If the boys were going on a wild bike chase with the other neighbourhood boys, why shouldn't I also be allowed to do so as long as I could keep up?

Then, of course, I did grow up and things changed. Periods, boys, dating, things that you only usually share with other women -- so my dad and I grew apart and started butting heads.

I don't think he realizes that the reason why we do is because we are two sides of the very same coin. I may look like my mum but my personality is almost all dad. My mum may have been my spiritual counsellor but my dad gave me my steely backbone and my tenacious nature. He taught me to be stubborn, to believe in myself, that everything is achievable if I simply work hard enough. He taught me to survive in a harsh world.

Throughout all the headbutting and stubborn, angry glares, I have never once doubted that my father loves me and my brothers very much. As the years go by, I see that he is not a superhero but merely a man and I love him so much more for it. He can have his faults as I also have mine. There are moments when, in split seconds of time, our eyes connect and I know that he and I are kindred spirits in so many ways. And I cherish all those moments and pray for many more.

Happy Father's Day!