little bitty girl

I was going to forgo my annual Oscar critique but some have reminded me that it simply wasn't done to turn my back on an old tradition. So here goes.

I miss the days of Cher and Bjork. Where has all the good times gone? Everyone is trying to look so chic so the effect is simply flat. Last night was the most boring Oscars to date. I went to bed after Reese's acceptance speech so that I could read a book. Oscar fashions were just as dismal, nothing but a sea of dark, dark, black, ugly, dark, dark.

Let's start with the 5 worst dressed.

Naomi Watts is one of the most beautiful women out there, why she chose a gown that was skin coloured and looked like a growth peeling off, I am not sure. Perhaps she was trying to look etheral but the effect was lost in all the tulle. Keira Knightly - I so wanted to like her, as it was her first time ever to the Oscars. Her necklace was stunning but her dress seemed very stiff and she seemed uncomfortable in it. Oh Jennifer Anniston! Why black? Why now? She just looked like she was in mourning with that sad dress and the sad necklace. Mrs. Tim Burton (Helena Bonham Carter) was an absolute nightmare in this shiny blue short number. Charlize Theron really needs to stop taking these ugly acting roles as it's really starting to rub off on her personal taste. I didn't even notice how beautiful her make-up was until this morning because I was so distracted by the giant bow. It's a pity really because she so would have been a best dressed if it wasn't for that lopsided thing on her shoulder.

Now for the 5 best dressed.

Jessica Alba was Oscar's golden girl. Her dress was glamourous and fresh. The best part was that she looked very glamourous and comfortable in her own skin. Both Felicity Huffman and Hillary Swank showed the rest of the girls how to do black right. Felicity's dress had interesting detailing but what made it a "yes" was that she kept the rest of her look very simple and classic. Hillary was just simplicity done in pure perfection. Simple hair and jewelry to set off her absolutely gorgeous cut dress. Kate Bosworth was stunning in this red number. She showed her fellow young actresses how to wear an absolutely sexy dress without having any "Nipplegate" incidences. Salma Hayek shows her curvaceous body off in this stunning teal number. Love the lines, love the colour against her skin.

Let's not forget the best dressed couples of the night!

Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams looked so great. Kudos to Michelle for coming up with the most original look of the night. I loved the unusual colour and the vintage accessories. She is definitely not from Dawson's Creek anymore. Jada Pinkett and Will Smith just know how to dress to compliment one another. I loved the gorgeous blue that she wore and I loved that he mixed pinstripes with a velvet vest. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe both looked very old-school glamour despite their youth. I hope that the win won't effect their rumoured to be rocky relationship because I love them as a couple!

Here is the ultimate worst dressed of the night and I really wish she would just disappear from the spotlight for awhile. Unfortunately, she's in the midst of filming her reality show so we all know that's not going to happen. Plus there's no gurantee that some random sex tape of hers won't be released at some point. If you haven't yet guessed who I am refering to, it's none other that Miss Parasite (Peacock) Hilton.

On a side note, I think Jon Stewart did the best job he could. Hosting the Oscars can't be the easiest gig in the world. Especially with all those egos to cater to and the tension. Plus I felt the Oscars was very rushed this year so there was no real way for him to do anything other than do his two second blurps.