Life has been hectic, overwhelmingly so. I am having to make really important decisions in short amounts of time. It's like taking that blind leap of faith, something all entrepreneurs have to do all the time. I know it needs to be done but I can't help feeling unsure and afraid. I don't like not knowing what lies ahead even though the realistic side of my brain understands that no one ever does know.
It's times like these that I just wish time could stand still. So that I can take a walk with my father, learn my mother's secret recipes, trade book notes with my sister, bandy words with my brothes and lie in quiet repose with Stefan. In short, I just want to be with my family. They always bring me a certain kind of peace in this hectic world.
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Posted in Family Shenanigans, Joy-Friends
Me: (in a hushed whisper) Don't cry, ok.
Stefan: (in a bewildered voice) Me? I never cry at these things. I'm just weirded out that we're actually early at a wedding. I've never seen the seating part of it before.
Me: Loud sigh.Don't cry. You don't have waterproof mascara on.
Stefan: Oh, you want me to tell you not to cry. You're gonna cry anyways.
Jamie comes down the aisle with his parents. Sarah is the first of the bridesmaids to come down the aisle. I feel my heart flipping a little. Then the rest of the girls quietly stroll by. Julie, Jen, Lindsay, Erika, Ra, and Lita (with Zyga hiding against her skirts). By the time Ra walks past, my eyes are already full, threatening to spill over and when Sylvia walks down the aisle, that was it. I mentally tell myself that it wouldn't do to cry during the entire ceremony.
The pastor starts the ceremony and then it starts raining.
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Posted in Joy-Friends
I think I've finally come to the realization that I have to do something about my allergy/sinus problems. They discovered last year that I have a deviated septum and that it could be one of the reasons why I am always getting sinus infections. As the weather gets hotter and the smog gets worse, I've been having these really debilitating sinus migraines.
The weird thing about a deviated septum is that it's mainly caused by an injury (which I've never had) or part of your growth process (my nose has always been so small that it can't have grown that much). I have to admit that I am a little afraid of any type of surgery but one involving my nose? That's why I have been so hesitant and supposedly, the full recovery takes quite a while. That, and there is no absolute gurantee that it will really help. I wish I knew more people who have gotten it done. I get to walk around with two tampon like things up my nose for a week after surgery. SEXY!
Well, I guess I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't.
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Posted in What's Buggin' Me
Dearest Stefan,
I just discovered one of the sucky things about being married. Because now we have this dilemna of having two anniversaries. Most people say that when you get married, it goes back to zero. How can that be? That is such crap. Let this be a cautionary tale for those of you still living in sin. All your hard work goes to pot once you tie the knot. Well, I've decided to defy those naysayers who say that we cannot celebrate both.
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Posted in Stefan
Ever since we moved into this loft apartment, the toilet has been a little sketch - the seat's a little loose and the base a little rocky. It drives me mental and ever time we have guests, I think some poor fool is going to fall over.
Yesterday, after some creative persuasion, Stefan decided to clean the washroom. I hear numerous bangings and such and I figured that he was just finding his own groove on how to clean the bathroom. He came out, sweaty and announced,"Well, it looks like your daily amusement ride is over. I fixed the toilet." Sure enough, there wasn't even a slight wobble. It made me SO happy.
See? At the end of the day, I am just a simple girl with simple needs.
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Posted in Stefan
Living in multicultural Toronto, there is simply no avoiding the World Cup and despite the endless honking, I would not have it any other way. It's really how surprising how many of my friends in the US don't even realize that it's on despite the fact that their team is participating. Even in New York where I thought the racial mix is pretty much the same as Toronto.
Anyway, it's always pretty fun here as everyone gets flags and puts it on their cars and just spend all day long driving around, honking. Obviously, a lot of people are playing hooky at their jobs. Sometimes, people have several different backgrounds and all of them are participating and then they have to buy multiple flags. It's kind of like Stefan who is both German and British. Depending on which parent he's talking to, he tells them that it's their team he roots for. (Although secretly he favours the British team over the German one). There's always good natured ribbing taking place. Like if Korea beat Italy, the Koreans would drive in Little Italy and honk while people on the street flips them the bird, and vice versa.
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Posted in Glued To The Tube
Happy "666" Tuesday, everyone! I got this idea from Scrapalicio.us.
I AM: always curious.
I WANT: to see my family and friends happy all the time.
I HAVE: a wonderful husband, who is also my best friend.
I WISH: I could be multiple people at the same time to satisfy all my various curiosities about the world.
I HATE: Mindy's poo bum and Stefan never cleaning the toilet. I obviously have issues with shit.
I MISS: dining en famille on Sunday afternoons.
I HEAR: Ipod in the background, the streetcars dinging their bells, Mindy and Stefan's consecutive heavy breathing when they are taking a nap together on a lazy afternoon.
I WONDER: whether there is a God sometimes.
I REGRET: not taking my art classes more seriously. I am envious of people who are good illustrators.
I AM NOT: a patient person. I want everything NOW and not LATER. Guess I never outgrew that nasty childhood habit.
I DANCE: whenever I can.
I SING: a lot less than I used to, something to do with the fact that I don't want our neighbours to hear me.
I CRY: a lot more than I used to. I used to be the Ice Queen until I turned 25. Stefan says I lied to him because I always bragged about not crying and now I will cry at tissue commercials.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: as organized as I like to think I am.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Food and general chaos.
I WRITE: all the time, whenever I can, on whatever I find. My brain is always spilling over with random thoughts.
I CONFUSE: wealth and success with richness of life. I'm working at it.
I NEED: to eat seafood at least three times a week.
I SHOULD: use my gym membership more often, or just get rid of it.
I START: trains of thoughts and then usually will get distracted by another and never finish my original thought.
I FINISH: books like the latest Harry Potter in a day. It drives Stefan crazy since it usually takes him a month.
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Posted in Me-ness
Marie is usually my final decision maker on my masthead colours since we're brain twins. We like to bounce all matters of creative decisions with each other since we both share the same love of things and yet have different enough personal styles (the East Coast vs. West Coast thing) to actually provide some creative comments.
As you can see, this is the first time that I actually did all the work on my own masthead, thanks to the brilliance of Jason Gaylor's brushes. I had been making CD covers for Lisa's Music Swap and had such a fun time doing it that I decided to carry on.
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Posted in Delectable Design, Joy-Friends
I've been a little bored of food lately.
Gasp! Stop the presses! You heard it right. Me. Bored of food.
I am not sure what brought this on, maybe the wonky weather or I'm just stuck in a food rut. Yesterday, we picked up a new grill pan from Caphalon. We had gotten a gift certificate there for our wedding and now I'm inspired all over again.
Last night's dinner was grilled pork chops, garnished with carmelized baby onions, served with spiced pepper squash and wilted baby spinach. It was very yummy!
Tonight, I think I'll do a twist off steak and frites. It'll be cajun spiced grilled steak with sweet potato fries and kale. Stefan actually hates kale so I'm off to the market to find something else to sweeten it up. And maybe a quick trip to Williams Sonoma to get more toys....
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Posted in Homage to Hunger
Sometimes Google scares me.
Or the fact that people can find you through Google.
Because that's what happened to me. Twice, this week.
Ming and I were reminiscing about our school days, when Ann's name came up. Ann was a senior in our school that I had become really good friends with before I left for Canada. We had kept in touch for years but, at some point, we lost touch. I told Ming that I thought about Ann all the time and wished that we could reconnect somehow. And then voila! I got an email from Ann on Tuesday. She somehow tracked me down through my blog. Well, what a nice little coinci-dink!
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Posted in Weirdness