little bitty girl

Marie asked me last week why I haven't yet blogged about the whole Isaiah Washington controversy as this is a topic that usually gets my goat. I felt at the time that there were already so many sites talking about it that adding my own voice would not have added anything new.

And then today, something happened.

The funny (or weird) thing about this is that last month I was trying to explain to Stefan that, even though people are pretty accepting of others in Toronto, there is still an underlying sense of prejudice within our society. My argument was that we needed to be aware that it still existed and to be vigilant against people who react this way.

Stefan wondered whether I was being a little over-sensitive about the issue. In his defense however and in my experience, it's usually people who have not experienced much prejudice (in this particular case, Stefan and generally other Caucasian friends) who deny that there is prejudice out there. Perhaps because they themselves would never treat someone differently for being different from them, that they simply cannot see anyone else doing it.

Then today Stefan got a very brief glimpse of what my life can sometimes be like.

This morning a courier had come by to pick up something from our address. I answered the door and repeatedly kept telling the courier that even though the address was correct, there was no such business and perhaps the information was wrong. The courier became increasingly frustrated and aggressive. Then he asked whether he could come in and use my phone, at which I replied "No." His behaviour towards me made me uncomfortable so there was no way I would have allowed him into my home.

He then stomped off and muttered aloud, "Fucking Chinese..."

Stefan came up to me and asked me whether he had heard right and I just shrugged. Before I knew it, he was storming off to confront the courier. They had some harsh words where the courier referred to Markham (a suburb in Toronto with a large Chinese community) and how he's worked with "those people before and they're all the same. They never let you use their phone..." Then as the war of words escalated, the courier started egging Stefan on, wanting him to react.

Luckily, Stefan walked away while taking note of the company the courier worked for. We both spoke to the president who was profusely apologetic and said that the courier would be very severely reprimanded, maybe even fired. I told the president that I was very sorely tempted to send an email to all my professional and personal contacts within the city to explain what had happened and how it was not to be tolerated. (I'm still tempted to do this). This got him even more frantic as I know a bunch of my professional contacts use his service regularly.

The thing is, as a small business owner myself, I understand how unfair it can be to be blamed for something that was completely out of your control. I told the president that I understood his position and yet the courier was wearing their company logo. There had to be some sort of responsibility taken. He agreed.

I think we reacted in the best way. I am still so very angry though. Stef, on the other hand wishes he did something more drastic like deck the guy. Which then would have gotten Stef an assault charge so it's a good thing that he didn't react that way. Nice to know he has my back though.

The good thing about all this is that it opened Stefan's eyes a little to what sometimes happens in my day-to-day life. The ironic thing is the courier making racial slurs at me was a minority himself. You would think that he would have some empathy as to how people who are different sometimes get treated.

And so my opinion on the whole Michael Richards, Isaiah Washington, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton racial/sexual intolerant rants of late is this -

I don't care if you're polka dotted, purple, orange, fat, skinny, gay, straight, asexual, extra big toed etc. There is no tolerance for any form of intolerance.