little bitty girl

Dearest baby Ryo,

No longer a baby as you turn one today. One year ago, I spent most of the night crying before your birth, worried about your mama and sad that I couldn't be there. You definitely did not give your mama a good time of it, but suddenly there you were, this perfect being. I always thought you looked like a peach blossom at birth, all rosy cheeked and wrapped up.

I am sorry that I am not there with you today. For one brief moment when we were in Vancouver, I seriously contemplated attending the open house across the street from where you live. But Murat Daidai said I couldn't live so close to you because he couldn't have you loving me more. Little does he know, you will love me so much more when I start buying you outrageous outfits that neither your mama, dada or godfather will allow you to wear.

You probably don't remember this but maybe you can refer to this post when you are old enough to understand. We were at the night market and you finally, voluntarily came into my arms. Your mama said I could give you back if you got too heavy. Dude, you were so heavy (you're a good eater, I love this about you) but no way was I giving you up until my back really ached. We had our first real heart to heart talk.

I told you that you would never be a baby again, that the next time I saw you, you were always going to be a little bit bigger, grow into your own and that I was sorry that I couldn't always be there while you are growing up but that no matter what, I love you. You responded by sticking your finger up my nose, your newest trick last week.

I know in your own way, you were telling me you love me too.

Love,

Aunty Karen