A Lesson In Kindness
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I was on the streetcar this morning on the way to work where I encountered a school trip in progress. There were about fifteen very rambunctious eight or nine year olds on a very packed work rush streetcar. Once we hit one of the main stations, people cleared out enabling me to watch the children interacting with each other.
I've always said that I find the ages of eight to eleven odd. Kids are past the cute stage and they're not yet disgruntled teenagers. They're still feeling their gangly selves out, figuring out how to socialize with one another. I noticed in the back a cluster of girls, all chatting with each other. On closer observation, one of them was obviously being singled out. You could see the conflict in her - trying to fit yet trying not to care.
It was painful to watch actually. I wondered what had happened for the other girls to ostracize her so. The group seemed to be gravitating toward an obvious trio in the centre. For a while, I watched these three girls hold their court and then, a surprise. One of the "popular" girls looked out through the crowd, noticed the left out girl, reached out for her and pulled her in. The others could do nothing but to follow her example and include the outsider too.
I wonder. How does one make a kind child? And how do I make sure that any children that I have in the future, are the kind ones?
Comments (5)
It's definitely an interesting thought... I think as parents or adults, we have to lead the way and provide that leadership. It is interesting that all it takes is one person to make it their responsibility to show a little kindness and how quickly everyone else follows. If a child can take this step, why can't we as adults do the same? It's often so hard to step out of our comfort zone to simple do the right thing.
Yeah, I think it's so hard to say, because I also think that we all as beings, no matter how young, will make choices that may be different from how we were raised. I've seen kids who are assholes even though they have the nicest, sweetest parents and vice versa...
I agree to a certain degree. But the onus is more than on just the parents. I think we need to recognize that as individuals have a lot more influence on people around us than we think and that goes to beyond the children that we may or may not have. We are responsible for the people that look up to us. There is no absolute certainty. We can at most try to influence and then pray like nothing else... :D
Funny I've been having the same thoughts recently. We're dealing with issues of bullying in our school, and I think about what factors influence children to make selfless and at times, altruistic choices, such that they can step out and go against the crowd to help someone. I think they need to have a very deep internal moral development- and I often wonder what factors contribute to this? Even at a young age, you'll meet kids who see the world as a place they can change, whereas there are those who only see themselves as helpless victims. And environment is often very subjective as well. Some kids come from very unfortunate circumstances and they are the most giving children. Others react to the same circumstances by believing that the world owes them. I think that in the future, as parents, I can only hope that what I do will help my child make the right choice, and to teach them to see beyond themselves. One more really touching though...yesterday Megan, who really wanted to finish the last pita bread, noticed her mommy was hungry, and split it into half and gave it to her mommy. At night time, I asked her if she had enough blankets, and she said yes..two minutes later, she said, "do you have enough blankets?" Very sweet, coming from a five year old. Now how do you teach that? =)
Yes and yes. Agree with both points. One thing that I find though sometimes is not giving the children enough credit for the choices (however small it may be) they make. Because at the end of the day, it is a choice one makes. There are so many times when I've encountered such a good natured child and people just automatically assume that it's the parent that causes that. I think it's a bit of both...
Post a Comment
Notes
Please be considerate of others. Keep comments relevant. Content deemed inappropriate or offensive may be edited and/or deleted.