little bitty girl

Yes, a start of another new year.

I hope everyone had amazing holidays. I've been so slack at posting lately. I've been busy with life, but mainly work. I have a deadline that is unavoidable, looming large and all my thoughts are on it.

Like the start of every year, you cannot help but reflect on the year that is past. Last year, like any other, had its own shares of highs and lows. I try to be like my mother and look forward to every day.

I am (very unfortunately) not like my mother. I don't know where she gets her calm because I certainly did not inherit those genes from her. This holiday season, my mother was ill, not in a very serious manner but enough to make me think, "My God! My parents are no longer in their 30's anymore." Because in my mind, my parents are forever young.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am utterly, completely terrified of death. It is a fear that keeps me up at night. One of the many reasons why I have this fear is because I cannot bear the thoughts of NEVER, ever seeing my loved ones again. The thought is so gut-clenching, so mind numbing that I would rather not think about it. In our book club last year, we read an incredible book that deals with this subject. How I wish I could be that brave to even talk about it in such an eloquent manner.

But the truth is, it happens.

What a morbid entry this must seem to you.

But what I wanted to say was, I am not one for making resolutions and I am not really going to start now. I do know that this is what I am going to try to do differently this year: to not sweat the small stuff, to remember that work can never be more important than living my life (hmmm...good luck with this, workaholic that I am) to enjoy every day the best way I can and to love the people I love as much as I can.