I forgot to share very exciting news but second family is now visiting from Vancouver. It has almost been a year since I last saw them so it is a very exciting time. When I came to pick them up at the airport, Ryo gave me such a priceless look, as if saying,"Who the F are you and why the heck do you know my name?" Then she looked to Jenna as if to say, "Do you know who this strange person is?"
So far, she has been quicker to accept me this time around, already letting me hold her hand and read her books. I love that she still loves reading as that is my favourite type of gift to get her. She hasn't been too sure of Stefan yet. I guess it did not help that we all pretended to scream in horror when he walked through the door. We forget that a nearly two year old doesn't understand sarcasm yet...
Talked to Marie really briefly tonight. For lack of time during the day, our actual voice conversations have gotten really scarce. The time difference never helps either. I am glad for the times when I am home late because every so often I get to catch her while Ryo is still awake.
She was saying how she's gotten so many hits on the video I recently posted. I have to confess.....it's me. I watch it often, I make my friends & family watch it often. I can't help that I love the kid.
Today, Ryo told me what sounds a cow, a sheep and a horse make. It was astounding to me that she understands and knows.
I just love that kid.
Can you imagine what it would be like if or when I actually have my own?
It's rainy, cold and I am tired. I've been working pretty long hours and am about to hit a crazy pace until the end of February. And sometimes, all I need is a little boost. And then I get this:
To me, hearing her laugh is instant joy. Isn't she SUCH a big girl now? I miss my West Coast family, and me thinks it's almost time to go for my bi-annual trip.
I was going to write something like,"I am no longer going to post any more entries until Stefan a.k.a Technical Support has put up my new effing masthead." But then I realized that would be petty. And I don't do petty anymore. You know why? Because I'm finally thirty and in addition to frilly, tartan mini skirts that have been taken to the local charity store, I have also done away with my pettiness. And pickiness. And bitchiness. And impatient nature.
And if you believed all of the above, you're a fool and do not know me at all.
We have this really weird attraction in Toronto called Medieval Times. As far as I can tell from TV ads, it's essentially a show where people reenact the medieval era. There are jousts, lots of pomp and pageantry. Audience members cheer on their knights from wooden tables surrounding the ring, while feasting on a "medieval" meal.
A former co-op student was forced to go as part of a high school class trip, and she said it was one of the most surreal experiences of her short life. She complained about the girls having to wear weird paper crowns, having to eat dry rotisserie chicken with her hands and endure a remarkably cheesy show.
For some reason, I REALLY, REALLY want to go to it. I only want to go with one person, and that one person is Marie. I just think that it's going to be so painfully embarrassing, that it's going to be fun. I told Marie that the next time she visited I would take her there.
Funny how she hasn't visited in two years.
Sure, she says it's because she was busy being pregnant, giving birth and now raising a child. I think she's just trying to avoid this delectable treat I have in store for her.
Marie and I tend to have our own language as all people who are close are wont to do. Usually it's just one word, other times it's a string of words. When we do that, people around us look as if we're speaking pidgin English, which in a way, we are. Sometimes, it's just plain silliness where we address each other in French and it sounds really romantic but what we're really saying is "My dear roasted pork chop..."
Anyway, this is a word that we often use when we're shopping or to each other.
Lurve - To really, really love (beyond any definition of love) something or someone
As usual, I was late with my gift box for Marie. I always want to make sure that the box is perfect before I send it off. After several months of delay the box was ready to go. But alas! I had no brown wrapping paper left. So I looked at my recycling box and this inspiration came.
Marie has a tendency to get embarrassed easily so what better way to embarrass her by wrapping her box with the sex columns from Cosmopolitan? Especially since she has to go to the post office to pick it up. Luckily for me, the contents of the box outweighed the embarrassment factor.
That's who I sound like right now. Stefan had a really terrible hacking dry cough for the past two weeks and, lo and behold, now I have it too. It's one of the many perils of marriage or living in close quarters with someone. I have barely been able to speak without having to cough half my oesophagus out. I am sure, secretly, Stefan is relieved that there is some semblance of quiet in our home.
No special box for you today as I am notoriously bad at sending your birthday boxes off on time. I like to think that you enjoy the lingering of the "joy" or at least that's the idea I've always managed to sell you on. But as ever, you've accepted my delays with absolute grace. This is supposedly a "big" birthday for you so I thought you would have to make do with a letter until your box arrives.
I am still so profoundly amazed that we've known each other for so very long and yet have only really, really connected in the past three years. I cannot imagine a life without you in it. Other than Stefan, you are the only other person who truly, truly knows me - without my skin, without any reservations, or walls of social decorum. And I find it amazing that you find me to be a good enough human being to be the godmother to your child. I am still completely overwhelmed by such a wonderful gift.
Because, here's the thing. I am not without thought that I have many failings in my life. I am too passionate about silly things, hot headed and stubborn but somehow you find it all ok. Not just ok, but you actually like that about me. I like to think that you are this sister/partner/friend that I have never truly had. Until now. I also like to think that we are two sides of the same coin. But the truth is, I hope/think/pray that I can even reflect a very small part of you.
I have to tell you that I think that you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. You are so completely giving and kind, to all your family members and friends. Even when you think you're being a bitch, you are so ultimately kind. I spend most of my time in the industry being told by so many people on so many different levels how much they admire you. You being my friend, makes my cache as a human being so much more valuable. And the same goes for me. Anyone with the "Mree" stamp of approval is "good peoples" to me.
You always make me feel when things seem bleak that there is always a rainbow after the rain. You're an incredible human being. I always hope that your goodness will rub off on me one day. And one day, you know... it will. Until then, this is a note to you, my dearest friend.
I just had to show everyone her royal cuteness wearing a tee I bought her when I was last in New York. I can't get over her! I cannot believe how fast she's growing. I bought her some seriously cute goodies yesterday and I can't wait until she can wear them.
the godchild, is still the cutest kid EVER! (I know, I'm just a little biased..) I can't wait to see her again in early August. Counting down the days, Ryo!
Marie, Boutsy and I spent most of Ash Wednesday walking around in the mists of confusion. The confusion for the girls was compounded by the fact that they had taken a red eye flight the day before from the West Coast and were a little disoriented. I had no real excuse other than my general malaise from travelling.
We were in NY to attend the Coterie, a bi-annual fashion trade show. The show which is usually broken up into three separate sites by commodity was under one big roof this time around. It made the whole experience quite over whelming. The first day we just walked and walked and walked. Endless booths of clothing just melded into one and we finally had to leave due to the fact that we were no longer processing the difference from one line to the other. We spent the rest of the late afternoon scouring lower Manhattan in search of visual inspiration. Other than Anthropologie, no such inspiration came.
I spent the very first day of the new year doing what I love to do best - cooking a yummy meal and sharing it with a friend. Stefan had gone to see a Bruins vs. Leaf game and so Lia was kind enough to come and share dinner with me. She had never watched Love Actually before and watching this movie is slowly becoming an annual Christmas/Holiday tradition for me.
It's just generally a happy, feel good movie. Sure, some story lines are more enjoyable than others but I like that not everyone has a sappy happy ending. Because life's like that.
From this last watch, I've decided that Jamie (Colin Firth) and Aurélia (Lúcia Moniz) storyline is my new favourite. I like the idea of people being absolute strangers, unable to communicate and still able to fall in love. I hate to admit it, but I am a cheesy romantic at heart.
But what I really love is Jamie's the little house he retreats to after he discovers his brother was shagging his current lover. I love the idea of having an old decrepit cottage in Europe with a pond (hopefully not muddy and filled with eels) and writing. But I definitely would not do it on an old fashioned typewriter, as much as I love them. I would die without my computer and internet.
I am glad to have shared the experience of watching the movie with Lia - spicy shrimp linguini, couple bottles of wine, good conversation, snuggling under my sockmonkey sheets. It's a great start to a new year.
I am really fat from all the overeating that usually comes with the holidays. Really. It's the "my stomach is so bloated that I feel that this is what it must be like to be four months pregnant but I don't look pregnant, just fat" kind of fat.
It also doesn't help that my brother Ken has been staying with me for the past few days. He's back from NY and he's trying to cram everything he enjoys to eat that he can't find in NY. Yeah, you would think that NY is the food mecca of the world but NY does not have Swiss Chalet, Tim Horton's coffee, Salad King and most importantly, Mama Kang cooking.
He's dragged me to every restaurant he misses and eats any snack that catches his eye and we've later spent a good part of our afternoons lying on his blow up mattress bed, holding our bellies and groaning whilst planning what our next meal is going to be.
Either that or we've spent every other day drunk as donkeys.
Ah, the holidays.
The good thing is that while I've been contemplating giving up food and alcohol, I've also managed to get lots of reading in. This is what I've finished reading since I started on December 23rd.
Some of them are re-reads; a concept that many of my friends find puzzling. I call it cleansing the reading palate.
Stef keeps telling me that it's not a race to read every book ever published (even though secretly, it is) but he doesn't realize that it's naturally how fast I read when I get a couple of undisturbed hours to myself.
I'll be happy if I read another six more before the end of the year.
I've been a little quiet and reflective these past couple of weeks.
I haven't been able to get this out of my head so I thought it would be cathartic for me, if I shared what I've been feeling.
When I was in Vancouver, Boutsy informed me that one of our former university mates, Jocelyn Juriansz had been ruthlessly murdered by her boyfriend late last year. She wondered whether I had known; since Jocelyn was in the fashion marketing program and I had more classes with her than Boutsy did.
Although Jocelyn and I were never very close, we were always friendly with each other. After we both had left school, we would often bump into each other during work functions and she was always as she was - jubilant and bright.
I know a lot of people tend to say really nice things about someone once that person is gone but in all honesty, anyone who ever met Jocelyn just thought she was incredible. I remember the last time we saw each other. I had been with a girlfriend who was not a part of our school crowd. Not surprisingly, Jocelyn knew her as well and we all had a quick catch up and with a bright smile and a jaunty wave, she was off to meet some other friend.
I woke up this morning without the relentless pawing from your sister, Monkey and without little sweaty feet to kiss. It's a little disconcerting to be home and not have you near. For a quick moment there, I seriously contemplated buying the house down the street from you. If it wasn't for your Uncle Stefan, Mindy, my parents, my brothers and my business, moving to the West coast seems like a very appealing idea. If only to be a greater part of your growing up. But I really like your Uncle Stefan (don't tell him, it will be our secret), and I am afraid he's quite helpless without me.
You are a miracle to me.
Somehow life seems a little lighter knowing that you exist in the world. I can hear your mummy telling me that I am such a suck. I am a suck, I can't help it. I cannot believe how much you've changed just in the week that I was there. You've started laughing at the silly antics your mum and dad do just to amuse you. When you coo, I can almost hear what you will sound like. You are so fascinated with your own reflection right now. When you sleep, you sometimes frown and other times you laugh. Your mum and I wonder whether all you dream about is boob. Good boob? Bad boob?
Because right now, you're going through the only loving mummy and daddy phase. You love mummy best cos well, she's got boobs. But you really miss daddy when he's been gone all day. It's amazing how much you and your daddy love each other. The pure joy in each of your faces when he comes home is so amazing to see. Your mum is so funny and patient with you. She's always pleading for you not to have your explosive poops when it's on her watch. You do it anyway and laugh your head off when you hear our squeals of disgust. They've been times when you've let me hold your for five minutes and I feel like I've climbed Mt. Everest.
Your mummy wants me to have a baby within the next few years so that you guys can be friends. I think I need to do a little more growing up before this happens because right now, there is no way I can live up to your mummy. But since your mummy and I have plans to share our kids in the summer, I'd better start thinking about it.
Until then, I am willing to be your personal stalkerazzi. You're going to wonder when you're older, why you have loads of pictures of yourself only in certain periods of your life. Don't grow up too fast, ok?
I don't know what is up with me this year, but it just seems like the part of my brain that hosts the "how to knit" section finally just clicked. I have finally graduated from making basic garter stitch and ribbed scarves.
The cabled scarf on the left was one of my Christmas presents to Marie. When I was trying to figure out how to make the bobbins, I kept exclaiming to Stefan,"Look at my balls! They're so weird looking!" or "Wow! My balls are really coming along." He would often plead for me not to say these phrases aloud, especially when he was on the phone.
Yesterday, I finally completed the matching hat to my scarf for Ryo. Needless to say, I am so pleased about the results as it's just so very cute. I guess it also helps that the model wearing it, is especially scrumptious!
I do think that I still have a lot to figure out in regards to reading patterns and determining gauges. For example, the pattern for this hat is supposedly for a 12 month old and as far as I am concerned, I either used the wrong type of yarn or the pattern is wrong. Because I absolutely refuse to believe that my three month old petite filet mignon has a gargantuan head.
I was browsing in one of my favorite Japanese convenience stores, trying to get inspired for dinner one night when I noticed a sign by the crockery section that said "Now that hot pot season is here, get some ingredients for shabu shabu!" I had no idea what it was, but I knew whatever it was, I wanted to eat it.
So, I called Marie my trusty fellow food connoisseur (who also happens to have an in house Japanese food expert i.e her baby daddy) and asked her to explain what this "shabu-shabu" was and can I eat it when I am out west.
Yes, you heard right. After a much longer than anticipated separation, I'll be reunited with my West Coast family this Friday. I am so excited! Even for the wintry weather they are unexpectedly having because we've had none. I should dig out my winter jacket as I don't think I've even seen the darn thing all winter.
I'm excited to reunite with friends, check out the great stores and restaurants but most importantly see little Ryo, who's already started laughing and making funny expressions. I can't wait to actually touch her tiny feet and toes. Can you believe once upon a time, our feet were really that tiny too?
This morning I was awakened by my phone ringing at 11:00 am.
"Oh gawd! Don't you believe in sleeping in?"
"Get up. I am picking you up in 10 minutes."
"What? Let me go in the shower."
"No shower! Get dressed. I am coming now."
That Jill. She may be little but she can sure crack the whip when she needs to. Sure enough, she was outside my building in 10 minutes and off we went to a great little brunch place called Maggie's. From the outside, it didn't look like much of a restaurant but the place was hoping and busy with a line up outside. The eggs benedict? Picture two perfectly cooked eggs benedict atop peameal bacon and toasted English muffins. Gypsy sauce (tomato, garlic, fresh basil) on the side with some fresh fruit. Divine!
Marie asked me to be Ryo's godmother. Can you imagine? Me!
I am SO honored. I cried, when she let me know. My gawd, I've been crying since the day this kid was born. Even though Marie says I don't have to do anything special. It's just because I am special to her....
We had the OAFL Grand Finals this Saturday and sad to report but the team lost. Not really sure what happened, whether it was finals jitters but we were outplayed during the first half. We definitely outplayed them the second half but it was too late to catch up in points. Regardless of the results, I was very proud of our team since we were kind of the league underdogs.
I always joked how our team always consisted of older (average age of the team is 30), white collared men. We were a team of financial analysts, accountants (SO many accountants on our team!) entrepreneurs etc. Why couldn't we get a metal worker or a fireman who was 20 like the other teams? We started off the season, just deciding that we would have fun no matter what and basically, the more fun we had off field, the more victories we had on field.
It has been such a fun summer for many of us. It used to be that we would all just be summer friends, kind of like camp but in the past years, many of us both players and girls, have formed friendships beyond the field. I am sure there will be many more winter silliness to come. Here are pictures from our losing party. We may be losers but we sure know how to celebrate losing.
I turned 29 this Sunday. This is the last year of my twenties, (woo hoo!) and then I have my thirties to look forward to. The funny thing is, I've been telling people I was 30 since I was 25, not for any reason other than the fact that I lost track after the quarter milestone age. Stefan would often say, "Sweetie. People usually lie down about their age, not up."
Anyway, celebrations started early with the footy team making it to the finals next week. You can imagine what the mood was like at our party later on that night. At some point, the team started singing their team song and the other non-footy guests were left surprised and stunned. "Are we supposed to know the words?" many of them asked later. Around midnight, the boys led a rousing, slightly out of tune "Happy Birthday" and it was all very, very sweet.
I managed to also catch up with a lot of other friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I was utterly spoiled with great food provided by our friend Richie and had lots of lovely little presents. My favourite by far was when individual footy boys pulled me aside and told me how much they appreciate me and that I was such an integral part of the team. It's nice to know that they appreciate the fact that I support them. Also, boys usually don't talk about "feelings" so that made it extra sweet.
The party ended around 5 a.m and we went to bed around 6 or so. That's because I had decided to clean up after the party. It was the BEST decision because there is nothing worse than waking up to an alcohol tinged mess. I think that's going to be my new policy whenever I have a party again. I wish I took more photos of the night...
I love the 3 F's - Food, Family and Friends. Not in that particular order.
This last trip was a combination of all three. We ate at Republic (my NY staple for noodle soup), Nyonya and Dervish. I got to see - Boutsy and Murat from Vancouver, Carmen, who recently moved back to North America from a five year stint in Switzerland and my big brother, Ken.
Today, I went out in a skirt, tank top and a jean jacket. Bad idea. My brain can't reconcile with the fact that the seasons, they are a-changing.
Every year, the end of summer in Toronto is marked by the closing of the Canadian National Exhibition or better known as just, the Ex during Labour Day weekend. It's basically a hodge podge of dodgy food, money wasting games, questionable safety rides and SO MUCH FUN! It's not really something you do with just two people but in a big group. As usual the boys were all grumping about being forced to go with the girls but secretly, you know they love the idea of playing games and eating cotton candy.
We didn't win any hideous stuffed animals but we did go on rides. I felt so bad because there were a couple of rides where there were some little girls bawling their eyes out. Our wicked boys just howled with laughter and I told them that one day their little girls will go on those rides and cry too. I am sure they'll feel much more differently then. I swear the next time we go, I am going to go on the Crazy Mouse roller coaster and the giant slide. I don't care how "babyish" those things are. Everyone was making fun of me, saying how I might not be tall enough to go on rides. If I am small enough to pass as a child, I should be allowed to relive my childhood memories by going on all the silly rides too.
This Saturday, one of our favourite couples, Kevin and Adrienne got married at the family farm. The wedding planning over the summer had slowly become the stuff of legends. Kevin, who had spent most of his childhood at his family farm, had decided that he needed to "clean" up the woods. He practically spent all summer clearing felled trees (created by a very busy beaver that winter), making new nature trails, and building a gazebo near the pond where the ceremony would take place. Due to the heavy rains (damn you Ernesto) the ceremony was held under a big giant tent. Kev and Ad, who are naturally so laid back, never let this hindrance bother them and had a really great time.
Ryoko Sabelle finally made her presence known around 6 a.m on Sunday morning. Here are pictures of Aunty Jenna, Uncle John, proud papa Bernie and the most beautiful little girl in the world. I know I am being totally biased but isn't she adorable? Darn that Marie for not liking her pictures taken. I hear she is well and glowing.
My best friend is having a baby, as I am writing this. I got a phone call from her sister at 4 pm. And updates every hour or so. I am overwhelmed.
So happy that baby Mernie is finally coming. Worried that it's taking so long (it's almost been 12 hours labour as I am writing this). Hoping that she's not in too much pain. So happy for the both of them. Heartbroken that I am not there and cannot be there until November. Heart bursting, because I already love the baby and the mother giving birth to the baby so much. Words cannot describe.
Silence from me. What's going on, you ask? What is NOT going on, should be the better question.
About a month or so ago, I implied how I was going a little mental but I didn't explain why. Call me superstitious but I really don't like talking about "big" decisions until I've actually decided and done the thing I've decided to do. Like my marriage. I feel like if you say anything before, you might actually jinx it.
I was more than half way through my first year of business when I suddenly realized that I had outgrown the space I was working out of. I had basically been fortunate enough to work out of Stefan's office. I was offered a couple of new lines that came highly recommended by friends in the industry and all of sudden, I felt like Alice in Wonderland, grown too big and everything around was tiny.
Sometimes having your brain twin on the other side of the country is very inconvenient. Marie and I have to schedule our phone calls around our different time differences, and debate ideas on things especially fashion and design through pictures and email.
I've been working on decorating ideas on a soon to be revealed surprise and am having a bit of a harder time having no female perspective other than my own. The boys around me are like Stef and tend to like the modern European clean look. I like to mix it up a little with quirk and vintage. Since time and money is tight, it leaves me with very little options. I can't really go antiquing or garage shopping.
We were at the cottage again last weekend. It's always so nice to get away from the city. It's been such a disgustingly hot, humid summer. For me, this is probably my last "hurrah" at the cottage for the summer as I am just about to start my crazy-busy time at work. I was so happy to be able to spend it away and with some lovely friends. Maureen and I went up early on Friday and the boys came to meet us after the footy game.
Probably not at all. Stefan and I had a busier weekend than expected. I am not sure why, but for some reason I thought I was going to have a very chilled out weekend. It's one of the few weekends where Stefan doesn't have a footy (Aussie rules, not American) game.
However, my dream of a lazy weekend was not to be due to unexpected invites to go to have "a drink" at a patio, Lia's birthday party at the Biermarket and the World Cup Final celebrations. Here are some thoughts -
Why is "one drink at the patio" never just one?
I am no longer a spring chicken and cannot go out drinking (albeit moderately) for four nights in a row. I didn't get a single hangover but I now feel generally unhealthy and will have to wander over to Juice For Life, and get a Liver Flush.
I really need to figure out how to fix my ridiculous tan lines.
I love that Toronto is so multicultural. There is never avoiding the World/Euro cup.
I am glad that we were in the "French" area rather than in the two "Little Italy" neighbourhoods. The insanity would have been too much for me to take after such a hectic weekend and intense game. You can see how mad those areas got, by clicking here.
There are most likely a lot of Italians who have called in sick today because of all the reveling.
In my heart of hearts, I knew Italy was going to win. I just wasn't allowed to say it out loud since Stefan had a double or nothing bet with an Italian friend of his.
I've been asking several Italians why their uniforms are blue even though there is no blue in their flag. So far, no one has been able to give me an answer that has made any sense. Anyone out there know the answer to this?
I had the nicest surprise yesterday. The very lovely Lisa S sent me a very unexpected gift - a tote with a birdie (how did she know that I adore totes and birds?), two mixed CD's (that I am groovin' to right now) and two magnets! Even Mindy got to enjoy in some of the pressies, as you can see here. She just loves tissue paper! There is nothing nicer than coming home to an unexpected package.
I always forget that Canada Day falls so closely to Independence Day in the U.S. Our friends Paul and Maureen were nice enough to invite us to their family cottage. It was so nice to be out of the city and to enjoy nature.
Maureen's father is a really tremendously active guy who learnt how to snowboard five years ago and has since gotten his instructor's license. He took Stef out to wake board for the first time and was so patient about the whole process. Stef, being the natural athlete figured it out pretty quickly. I didn't try because it takes me longer to figure stuff like that out and I would have been frustrated. That, and I still haven't gotten used to cold lake water.
Milo, their pup was also subjected to "water sports" as all the kids and adults tried to entice him to swim. We just couldn't figure out why he just wasn't into it since all dogs usually love playing with water. He did finally go out the last day to the delight of everyone. All in all, a really fabulous weekend well spent.
Boutsy was home on the weekend. Even though Vancouver has really incredible food, she was craving what all ex-Ryersonians crave, Salad King. This was the local university haunt that we would go to when we didn't want to eat crap. I like to think that I was the first one among us who frequented the joint, but I can't be really sure. I am sure that I was one of the most constant, waiting at the doors when it first opened in the morning, after pulling an all nighter.
It used to be a real hole in the wall, all dark and no service. It's definitely changed since but the food is still incredible and inexpensive. Boutsy and I love the food because it reminds us of our mamas' home cooked South East Asian fare. In fact, I think the only time I ever see the ridiculously beautiful Sayavong sisters is at this restaurant. We all don't go as often, so we tend to order the same thing every time. This is much to the despair of the owners, who still recognize us and always ask us to try something "new" even though we've all had everything on the menu at least twice.
It was great to see the girls. Even though we're all still friendly, Boutsy is our common link. It's funny but I feel like we all still somewhat look the same despite the fact that we've aged 10 years since we first met. Except now, we're either married or cohabitating, we own property, we have jobs, we pay taxes and Hannah is going to have a baby!
Life has been hectic, overwhelmingly so. I am having to make really important decisions in short amounts of time. It's like taking that blind leap of faith, something all entrepreneurs have to do all the time. I know it needs to be done but I can't help feeling unsure and afraid. I don't like not knowing what lies ahead even though the realistic side of my brain understands that no one ever does know.
It's times like these that I just wish time could stand still. So that I can take a walk with my father, learn my mother's secret recipes, trade book notes with my sister, bandy words with my brothes and lie in quiet repose with Stefan. In short, I just want to be with my family. They always bring me a certain kind of peace in this hectic world.
Stefan: (in a bewildered voice) Me? I never cry at these things. I'm just weirded out that we're actually early at a wedding. I've never seen the seating part of it before.
Me: Loud sigh.Don't cry. You don't have waterproof mascara on.
Stefan: Oh, you want me to tell you not to cry. You're gonna cry anyways.
Jamie comes down the aisle with his parents. Sarah is the first of the bridesmaids to come down the aisle. I feel my heart flipping a little. Then the rest of the girls quietly stroll by. Julie, Jen, Lindsay, Erika, Ra, and Lita (with Zyga hiding against her skirts). By the time Ra walks past, my eyes are already full, threatening to spill over and when Sylvia walks down the aisle, that was it. I mentally tell myself that it wouldn't do to cry during the entire ceremony.
The pastor starts the ceremony and then it starts raining.
Marie is usually my final decision maker on my masthead colours since we're brain twins. We like to bounce all matters of creative decisions with each other since we both share the same love of things and yet have different enough personal styles (the East Coast vs. West Coast thing) to actually provide some creative comments.
As you can see, this is the first time that I actually did all the work on my own masthead, thanks to the brilliance of Jason Gaylor's brushes. I had been making CD covers for Lisa's Music Swap and had such a fun time doing it that I decided to carry on.
The weekend went far too quickly for my taste. Ming and I had a really good time hanging out with one another. Although I am sure when she returns home and when people ask what Toronto is like, I'm afraid she won't really be able to say much about since I only had time to give her a drive by tour. That, and we were yakking our heads off trying to cramp all that we've left unsaid for the past 16 years.
It's funny because everyone here, including me, was a little curious how we would react to one another after such a long time. It was just easy and fun. I guess the essence of oneself never really changes. We change with our experiences but who we are fundamentally doesn't. And Ming confirmed it. I am still the same loony bird as I was when I was little. She reminded me of all these ridiculous scrapes I used to get myself into. I've always wondered what it would have been like if I had stayed in Asia. Ming said it was the best thing for me to move here since I am and have always been such a free spirit and I would have probably felt a little repressed.
I am glad that she was so open to everything. I took her to all my favourite spots in the city and on Saturday night, she got to meet some of my friends. On Sunday, since she was missing some home cooking, we started off our day at Chez Mama Kang. Big up to Mama Kang who always feeds all my hungry friends!
We ended up walking around. That, in itself was astonishing because Mr. "Boys Don't Go On Random Walks. We Need A Purpose And A Place To Walk" Stefan joined us as well. It was really fun, for Ming and I anyway. Stefan was just our chauffeur.
This week Ming is working in the middle of nowhere and since I am carless, I can't really visit. That, and she's probably busy actually doing the work that they sent her here for. Still. I feel a little cheated out of time with her.
She suggested that Stefan and I move to Singapore for a couple of years before we think about popping out kids, since we talk about wanting to explore that part of the world more. I actually looked into it online but then Stefan mentioned the fact that Mindy would be bereft without her uber nice vet and her organic treats. Then when I researched the legalities of even bringing her there and the minimum requirement for quarantine is 30 days. And visiting hours during those 30 days are limited. That sealed the deal for us.
I've been waiting for this weekend for a long time. A childhood friend from Asia is coming to visit for the weekend. Ming and I have known each other since grade 4 and have miraculously kept in touch through handwritten letters for the entire 16 years since I left. Doesn't that boggle the mind that we still keep that up?
I've always found myself in limbo sometimes, having moved here when I was 12. So many of my friends here have a long history with many of their friends, whereas my friends here only know me as an adult. At the same time, my friends back home only have memories of me as a child. It's nice when there is the connection of both past and future.
The last time I saw Ming was about three years ago and it was a very brief time because I had gotten a horrible reaction to Singaporean strong coffee. It'll be so nice to have her for two whole days and to show her a glimpse of my life here in Toronto.
I had such a fabulous weekend, celebrating Sylvia's stagette up at a girlfriend's cottage. Twelve girls gathered, ate, laughed, drank, ate amazing food and had a fabulous time.
Since I personally did not have the best of female friendships in my high school years, I was so blown away by all of Sylvia's girlfriends, many of whom have known her since her teens. Each person was so individual, interesting and unique in their own right. It's a wonderful testament to everyone involved that such friendships have sustained and flourished.
As far as staggettes go, this was by far the best one I've attended so far. There were no cheesy strippers - THANK GOD! I really hate those. There were walks through the wood, dress fittings, fun games and a dress up disco night. Everyone kept on saying how good and varied the food was and if we were boys, the only food available would have been meat and potatoes.
Sylvia, who is an amazing designer is making all of her bridemaid dresses and she brought them up for fittings. It was so amazing to see the process and she definitely made dresses that everyone will be able to wear again. I can't wait to see everyone at the wedding.
There is nothing like a long weekend to totally rejuvenate the work weary soul.
Stefan and I went up to our friends Kevin and Adrienne's cottage this weekend with Mags and Rich. We were joined by a bunch of other family friends. It's not really a cottage as one would imagine a typical Ontario cottage to be. It's actually Kevin's grandad's farm from ages ago and the "cottage" is a fully functioning second home for his parents. So, there was no real "roughing" it so to speak. Regardless, we were so glad to be away from the bright lights and smog.
Meet Mernie, my best friend's baby! The name "Mernie" came about quite a few months back when I was in Vancouver last, when we were being nerds, trying to come up with the equivalent of "Bennifer" for ourselves. Stefan and Karen don't really make a good meshing name, but Marie + Bernie = Mernie was an instant hit.
That's what we've been calling her baby. It sucks that we don't know the sex yet mainly because it's so hard to pre-shop for the baby. Marie is the very first of my close group of girlfriends having a baby and I've been living vicariously through her. Every week that goes by we'll talk about how big the baby is getting - "Mernie's an apricot now!"....."Now, Mernie is a limon (the size between lime and lemon)" It's all been very exciting, I must say.
It didn't actually feel true until the ultrasound and woah! there really is a baby in there. It isn't some big hoax.
Woo Hoo! I am always so excited when I switch my masthead. Only because I have such a short attention span and I get so bored of things quickly. It's another downside to being in the fashion industry, I think.
Lia, Stefan and I have really gotten our masthead making down to a science.
My wonderful Lia, who says that I am the worst and best client. I can always envision what I want but I don't have the skills to execute it. That is where Lia and Stefan come in. I remember the first masthead, which was Spring last year.
"Lia, I am thinking baby pink and mint green with a girly font. Just do whatever you like" I said. She came back with something and I was happy because back then it was really simple. (For the guys who are colour blind, no this is not the same colour scheme as last year. This is coral and lime, thank you very much!)
By summer, I came up with blue and hot pink as my colours. "Think cottage and relaxing. Boats , sun and water." I thought I was being very direct and creative. She gave me three options and I was like,"Err....this is not really what I had in mind...maybe you can add this or do this....."
Then there is poor Stefan, who I've always thought was my own personal web master. I am always expecting him to tweek one thing or another and I always want it right now!! It's even worse now that we're married, because I always think that it's my God given right to demand round the clock service.
Back in the day, I would give Lia colours to work with for the masthead but Stefan would get nothing for the rest. I would say, "Just do variations of what Lia did...." and then I would make him change it because I didn't like his colour combinations.
Yes, I am an unreasonable bum! Anyway, now that we've had a bunch of seasons under our belts, I try to make things as easy for them as possible. Now, I am really specific with details - I send both my overall colour scheme (using this handy tool and Photoshop), an image that I want and just let them do whatever. After all, they both do it for free and out of love for me. (I hope!)
Thank you, Lia and Stef for doing such a great job and for always indulging me!
I haven't had a chance to blog about this because of all the wedding hoopla but I really must write about it. Amid all this joy is also a sense of sadness. The beginning of this year has been tremendous but like all things, life tends to intervene and gives us reasons all the more to appreciate those around us. I have had to bid adieu to two good friends this year.
While I was away getting married, my dear friend Charise left our fair city to pursue her dream of fashion heaven in London. Charise was the assistant fashion editor to Fashion Magazine in Toronto. When she told me, I was so excited for her because I've always had dreams of living in London also. We had secretly talked about to going away together, over a year ago but then life happens, Stefan proposed and I realized that my life, was with him. He unfortunately lives here but NEVER SAY NEVER, as I plan to make full use of his UK citizenship sometime in the future.
I am so proud of her for getting up and following her heart despite of all her interests and loves she left behind. It was such a big step. I can't wait to hear all her amazing adventures living with our other fabulous girlfriend D'Arcy at their Notting Hill flat. And I know that she'll succeed because she's just so cool. And really how could the other fashion editors of the world not see that?
Then Boutsy aka Bootylicious, my rapscallion, rebel friend of my youth has also gone away. She has fallen in love and is also following her heart to Vancouver. Boutsy, regardless of the ten ought years we have known one another is the one person who has always remained the same. She's irreverant, funny, heart droppingly gorgeous but so unaffected by it that you cannot hate her for her beauty. Even though our busy lives don't permit us to see each other that much, I think my heart will know and be a little emptier for not having her near.
I know that this is what happens when we grow up and move on with our lives. My head tells me that I am really happy that they've taken this step but my heart is being a sucky baby and telling me that this part of growing up sucks, big time. I've already started planning vacations.
Relationships are awkward at the best of times. Relationships when one is a teenager, pimply, gangly and unsure is something that one often likes to forget. Mine was not one of them.
Alex was my first love and high school sweetheart. He was one of my first few friends I made, when I first moved to this country. I remember actually hating him when I first met him. I have a habit of doing that with the people I fall in love with. For your information, I have only ever been in love with two people in my life, Alex and Stefan.
I thought I would impart some age old knowledge now that I am a married woman. HAH! As if I've acquired any, it's only been 6 days after all. But I thought I would share some random thoughts about what I think so far about getting married and eloping.
I have been thinking about our New Year's party after seeing everyone post pictures. I haven't posted mine because frankly I had hardly any. I know. Me, the shutterbug queen, with no pictures? My bloody battery died halfway.
We really had the perfect New Years. About twelve good friends, antipasto, Portuguese BBQ chicken, rice, potatoes, veggies, playing games, and laughing hard. All over by 2:30 am.
Yet, I can't help but think about the ones we used to have when Stef lived in his huge 3,000 square foot loft. They were legendary and people still talk about it today. The last we had was beyond insane. We had about 4 DJ's, about 300-400 people, most of whom thought it was a club and half of whom we didn't know who the hell they were, one bathroom, lots of beer and puke to clean up after. I think that's why I said, "No More!"
I've always been crafty. Not as crafty as some other people I know but you could not grow up in my mother's household without being somewhat able with a needle and thread. Growing up in Asia, my mum was a teacher, and she taught English. Then she went to work at a poorer school and also took on Home Economics. She thought it was important for all kids to be able to feed and clothe themselves. She always said even the boys were always so astonished how little effort could produce so much. All of us kids, with the exception of Kelvin (who used to burn water but is getting better) are either really adept cooks or bakers and can at least do basic mending.
I am not really sure who started the whole box-exchange-gift thing but I am quite sure it might have started with Marie. Our boyfriends have never forgiven us since for continuing on this vicious trend.
Marie and I exchange gifts through the post. We have a rule about how big the boxes can be and we try to cram as much as we possibly can into them. I look forward to my boxes with much anticipation. The boxes usually consist of a bunch of "big" item gifts and a bunch of miscellaneous funny gifts. It's always laugh out loud, pee-in-your-pants good fun and for however long it takes to go through the box, I feel for that brief time, like a 5 year old all over again.
DISCLAIMER: Some parents or underage children might feel a little uneasy with content after the jump. Do not read further if this might bother you.
We are born into the families we have. Some of us are lucky enough to have family members that we actually love, even like (there is a difference, you know) and sometimes, we also become friends.
Our friends, on the other hand, we get to pick. We start off cautiously when we're young, picking only the friends who will share the skipping rope with us. I was a bad friend and not good at sharing. Luckily for me, Mae Fong is still one of my closest friends despite the fact that I bit her finger for borrowing my skipping rope when we were four.
My girlfriend Jen has been telling me all about her adventures of young motherhood. Before I start off on my story, I just have to say that I think Jen is such an amazing mum and she simply makes being a parent so do-able. That, and being smaller AFTER the pregnancy can almost make you want to hate her.
Anyway, she was talking about how there are so many funny things that kids do, that you so would NOT do if you were an adult.
Jen was talking about how she had gotten to know the kids and their caregivers in her neighbourhood park quite well. One day, there was this little girl that she recognized playing by herself in the sandbox. The girl had her hands up her skirt and was fiddling around. Jen didn't really want to say anything since the girl wasn't her own child. Moments later, the little girl went up to Jen and stuck her pointing finger really close to Jen's face and said, "Sometimes when you stick your finger up your bum, it smells funny."
Jen blanched and then hurriedly went to tell the girl's nanny to make sure that the girl washed her hands before she ate anything.
Phew! Whenever I think I am crazy, Dooce always makes me feel like I am a perfectly normal person. I just read her latest entry. Like her, I am completely obsessed with Grey's Anatomy. After all, what's not to love? Sharp, witty dialogue, explorations of the heart, a little(a lot of) drama and great humour. I eagerly await my Sunday nights with spine tingling anticipation.
Another Thanksgiving weekend has quickly passed us by. I am so stuffed with turkey as we had three family dinners to attend but I really shouldn't complain as there are so many that are going without tonight. More and more, I am made aware of my many blessings. I am thankful for -
my parents, who are just wonderful, loving people. As time goes by, I cherish and hold on to every minute that I get to spend with them. There is still so much to learn from them both.
my brothers, who make up parts of my being. When they are not around, I feel a little lost. They are the parts of myself that I want to be.
my friends, who, like fine wines, have grown better and more valuable as time passes by. They make me better just having them around.
my extended family, as many as there are. I am grateful that I come from such a large and loving family. I am glad to have all my wacky cousins and life would be less colourful if I did not know them.
Mindy, who is my little joy. She just makes me very happy.
Last, but never least, Stefan, who is just one of the best people I know. Kind-hearted, funny, loving, endlessly patient. I wake up every day knowing that somehow, someway, I lucked out in having him as a partner.
Stefan has this obsession with sports. We are never, ever a sports free home. Even when there is no actual sport to watch, he still has to watch the sports channel or check the TSN website. Heck, he'll watch curling if he has to. Curling, for those of you who do not know, is a "sport" where adults chase after a giant puck that is propelled onto the ice and sweep the ice in front of it. The guy who throws the puck is usually yelling "Faster! Faster!"
Anyways, this obsession has always bothered me, so I suggested having a sports free week at least once a year. I personally think this is a really reasonable request but he's always been resistant to it. Tonight, he suggested that if he has to forgo the pleasure of sports then I should have to forgo the pleasure of communicating with one of my best friends, Marie (with whom I email or call almost every day) for the same week.
U2 is such an incredible band and we were lucky to get to see them perform live tonight! There were many, many touching and beautiful songs played. Their body of work has been remarkable, musically and politically, hence the many remarkable songs that evoke so many powerful feelings.
So, I really try not to questions God's will too much, just in case some random lighting bolt decides to hit me for it. I like to remain unzapped, thanks. However, I do sometimes question the unfairness of the distribution of beauty and brains. Take my friend Boutsy (aka Booty) for instance. By now we have all seen many beautiful radiant smiles from her so far. What you don't realize is that you have not also met her equally beautiful sisters Khantavy (oh crap, I hope I spelt it right. You would think after all these years that I would know) and Faith.
And both of them are equally brainy and talented. If they weren't such nice girls and if I didn't like them so much, I really would be inclined to give them two tight slaps every time I saw them just for the sheer injustices for life.
By the way girls, if you didn't want your pictures of you posted, you really shouldn't have given me the link to your blog. Haven't you all learnt by now that I am a menace?
I have been meaning to write about this for about forever now. Well, actually since it happened but as per usual I am on the road again. The soundtrack of my life. Last Friday, I got to hang out with the fabulous crew. We really are terrible at getting together en masse. What can I say other than we have really busy lives.
You can never underestimate the preciousness of the written word. In the past couple of months, I have received very lovely long letters from my two best childhood friends. Receiving a letter is such a luxury these days. I, however, did not treat it as such as I just wanted to get to the goods. I usually rip the envelopes open and do a quick read through. And the second read is more leasurely, my fingers slowly running through the words, trying to capture the moment in which the words were formed.
I had the most gut-wrenching, jaw-aching, almost-peeing-your-pants, hilarious weekend. I've been meaning to blog about this earlier but my damn Internet was down and Boy Wonder is Down Under. Thank goodness he called today or I would have had to go to some scrubby internet cafe.
My girlfriend Marie, was in town to work and then after, it was all about play. We did a lot of "research" aka as obsessive shopping. I was afraid that we would not be good shopping buddies having never really done it together for long periods of time. This weekend proved that we are "for true" brain twins.
I am proud to say that I am Marie's official "cherry-popper" to IMing!! Marie and I talk randomly during the day so it made sense that we should at least attempt to instant message especially since we talk so much about miscellaneous stuff. She finally got over her stubborn streak!! YAY! Happy, happy, joy, joy!!
Happy Birthday to Lia, my star girl! She, who has always shared the same love of food as me. I only wish she wasn't such a Glamazon! She always complains about her long legs. If only we could all have the same affliction. It's funny how you never realize when you meet someone that you'll be friends with them for so long. I am so glad that Lia is one of those friends....
Something new that I learnt about Lia. She only celebrates uneven birthdays as she doesn't like uneven numbers. Big Weirdo! She'll be nursing a massive hangover tomorrow....
I really wish that my drink of choice right now wasn't jagermeister and red bull! Now, I am going to be up all bloody night!!
There is nothing better than a celebration of life. We celebrated Mateo's first birthday yesterday. Mateo is the son of Paulo (Stef's childhood friend) and Karen. It is so amazing to see how much he has grown over the year!! We can't wait to see what comes next.
I was originally going to lie about this because sometimes I do that - it's a weird thing I have about waiting to hear or see people's reactions to something I do before confessing to actually doing it. Maybe because I think so many of my friends are so super talented and I am a little mediocre in comparison especially when it comes to crafty things.
The only way to beat a truly horrendous weekend is to surround oneself with lots of friends. Today we had an impromptu brunch, done very last minute so I was very happy that so many could join us! Lots of food, laughter and general fun had by (couples were grouped together, yes, I do know how to write an actual sentence) Lil Jen, Amanda, Big Jen and Den, Ben and Jen, Kevin (Bridgy), Richie and Mags, Stef and I, and best of all, our little star Aleks. Guys! You know I love hanging out with everyone of you but I never really get to see Aleks so lots of pictures are of him.
So I am not sure whether I have mentioned my friend Lia yet on this site. I met Lia at the end of my serving career where I consciously made a decision to work at server-hell, aka Vinnie's. Vinnie's is where all servers go to die and resurrect themselves in their true calling or spiral into the abyss of serving-dom. Anyways, I think Lia and I started talking when I forced her to drive me home late one night when I discovered she lived really close to me.
I don't really remember what it was really like to be single. There, I've said it. Sometimes, I feel like a bad friend when I am talking to my handful of friends who are. When the hell did we all hook up and start living in sin? (Except for Syl, who recently got engaged to wonderful Jamie, whom we all love, so we approve.)
Last night, I watched You've Got Mail for the one hundredth time! No, I am sure that I haven't watched it that many times, but it sure feels like it. It's the type of movie (for me anyways) that you can watch it over and over again and you can never get sick of it.
This is going to be more of a picture entry as I have been working all weekend and, frankly, my brain is too slow to type anything other than the most mundane of words. But I really wanted to say that the weekend started off fabulously due to the bowling party held to celebrate three friends' birthdays.
It's true, people; you don't need to go to the hippest club in town. All you need is lots of good people, beer, and bowling balls. I have also come to realize that I am not as coordinated as I thought I was, and I never could master the whole "follow through" idea. Ah well. At least I had a good time!
I've been going through a rather difficult transition in my life lately and have been a little blue. So, what do I do? I have an impromptu shopping therapy session with my girlfriends, of course!
Then Boutsy aka Bootylicious, my rapscallion, rebel friend of my youth has also gone away. She has fallen in love and is also following her heart to Vancouver. Boutsy, regardless of the ten ought years we have known one another is the one person who has always remained the same. She's irreverant, funny, heart droppingly gorgeous but so unaffected by it that you cannot hate her for her beauty. Even though our busy lives don't permit us to see each other that much, I think my heart will know and be a little emptier for not having her near.
