The West Coast family left early this afternoon and must say, the week went by SO quickly. It was so nice to have them here and the house feels a little empty without the patter of little feet and high pitch giggles. I am so glad the godsisters seemed to have gotten along so well.
This morning when Lola was waking up from her morning nap, Ryo ran in and Lola turned over and they both saw each other and gave each other the biggest smiles...if that doesn't melt your heart...
I sometimes wish that there was a built in camera in my mind so that I could capture moments like that forever.
Anyway, time to reflect and compile all my lovely memories. And also to share more Ryo-isms:
At the zoo:
Us (Marie and I): Look at the tiger, Ryo!
Ryo: Oooh... Tiger! (5 seconds passes) I want to see something else!
Us: Look at the ostrich/peacock/snake/mole rats/polar bear/giraffe/elephant/zebra etc
Ryo: Oooh...ostrich/peacock/snake/mole rats/polar bear/giraffe/elephant/zebra (5 seconds passes) I want to see something else!
Every time we would suggest something or she would suggest something, we would talk about what a good idea it was. Yesterday, we were drawing some pictures for my fridge and had suggested something for her to do:
Us: Good idea?
R: Yes, good idea...(nods head sagely, pauses) I don't have any idea what you are talking about mama...
Ryo has also inherited her mother's fastidious tidiness. I had been folding Lola's laundry but hadn't managed to finish all of it when she ran into the room. She came in and her eyes bugged out and said "Oh! Someone left a mess in here! We have to clean it up 'k? Let's fold everything. Good idea? It's a good idea! I will fold this (a washcloth). Mama taught me how to fold panties!"
The goddaughter (and bestie) are visiting for the week. OH.MY.GOD. I love this freaking kid. Well, I love the both of them obviously (one being my own). But man, have I missed the goddaughter. First of all, she's changed so much since I last saw her during Thanksgiving and she is honestly turning out to be one of the funniest people I know. I wanted to share some "Ryo-isms" before I forget.
Many of the Ryo-isms are pertaining to Lola (who thank goodness, Ryo has decided she likes her...she was a little unsure before visiting). She is only 3 1/2 and wise beyond her years.
To Stefan and I:
"You should buy a baby monitor. How are you supposed to hear her when she's making any noise in the night? I have a monitor...You just go to a store and buy one 'k?"
When Lola is crying:
"You know, I think she needs a hug. Why don't we give her a hug and then check her diaper. Because she also could have peed in her pants"
When asked when she would be Lola's penpal:
"No.... (Why not?) ... Because Lola can't hold a pen right now (then she gives me a "Drrr, you're dumb" look). She can't hold anything!"
Can you believe?! The original peanut, Ryo has a first school picture! She's 3.5 years old going on 8 here.
Just the other day, as I was looking at Lola's baby pictures, I was also going through the reams of Ryo's baby pictures. I remember the night that she was born and the worry I felt because the labour seemed to be taking so long. And now, she's in school and she's so bright and funny...
This summer, the godsisters are meeting for the first time. I really hope they will like one another.
I cannot believe that you are finally here in our lives! We are over the moon in love with you.
We had decided not to tell anyone that we knew you were a girl so you have been a delicious little secret for us these past months. You will find out soon enough that Papa and I like to keep secrets...we hope you will be a secret keeper like us too.
I remember being so nervous when they did the ultrasound, even though I knew deep down inside you were a girl. I was so happy when they told us that you really were. I wish you could have seen how happy and excited Papa's face was when he came home that night. I told him on the phone and he kept on saying,"Really? Really?" like he couldn't believe it. (Papa is a bit of a doubting Thomas. He likes to have proof). He got down on his knees and gave you lots of kisses, I mean he usually did anyway but he gave you lots of extras that night. That was until morning when he realized what it might be like to be a father to a daughter, then he got worried and insisted that you can't date until you are 30. Don't worry, he's bound to say lots of crazy things in your life time.
Happy birthday to you, my dearest friend. Every year, I wonder at the miracle that is our friendship with you being so sane, and me being so crazy. What the HECK do you even get out of it?
Thank you always for being you - kindhearted, funny, fellow reading lover, keeper of my secrets, mother of my godchild...you always make me want to be a better person. I could not imagine navigating this crazy life without you. I hope that this year brings you continued health & happiness.
I did try to accommodate you by having your future godchild on your birthday. But alas as you know, these things just cannot be forced... but who knows? The day is still young!
Could you just DIE over the scrumptious-ness that is my nephew? Work is busy so I won’t be seeing him for a couple weeks so I SIMPLY had to go visit him last week. He’s such a sweet baby. Every time I see him, he falls asleep on my shoulder. He fidgets and fusses for half a second and then simply falls over… His little snores just slay me…
Mama Kang has this theory about pregnancy…How the mother feels will also affect the child. So if the mother is morose, you’ll have a weepy child etc.
I usually do not abide by her “crazy” theories but Stefan’s pretty convinced that our child will come out laughing (well after the original crying, that is). He’s always saying how my mother and I are such giggle monsters.
In fact, half the time my mother and I are bent over, practically crying with laughter while Stefan usually looks patiently bemused and Papa Kang is resigned (he’s had to deal with a lot of laughing episodes over the years). Needless to say, I’ve spent the majority of my pregnancy laughing…
This is a picture of Mama Kang and the original Mama-nator during her 90th birthday this past December. I think you will find that laughter is hereditary in our family…
What a bad wife I was last year! I just realized that I did not do a posting for our 3rd year wedding anniversary. As you like to remind me, supposedly I have also been neglectful about giving you your 3rd year anniversary present. I don't remember this at all, but somehow you, Mr. Holey Brain, seems to. According to you, I was supposed to give you a child in our 3rd year. So, I am a year late...plus, have you seen me lately? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!
I was remembering the early days of our courtship the other day. You were so cautious about being in a relationship. It wasn't really about me, it was the fact that you had ended a long term relationship and you weren't really sure about whether or not you could commit to anyone. You weren't even sure about the idea of love...
I am going to preface this by saying I am about to have a mini vent on this matter.
Lately, people have been telling me how things will change in regards to my love for Mindy. How I will no longer love her and perhaps will want to give her away once the baby comes. The funny thing is the majority of the people telling me this are dog owners. And when I say, "Well, you seem to still be able to love your dog and your child..." The reply from them is that, "Oh, that's different. Loving a dog is different..."
Granted, we have some cat owner friends who have wanted to get rid of their pets once their baby has arrived. But in general, there seems to be more hate on the dog owner side... And I don't really get that attitude. I grew up with dogs and I always envision that one day in my future, we will have one. I never ever thought I would or ever could love a cat. And then came Mindy, and I do. I love her as much as I can love any human being. I think if you love a pet, that pet simply is a member of your family.
I am hoping to take the route Marie did with Monkey when Ryo was born. Ryo was raised to know that Monkey was very much a family member. In fact, Ryo always called Monkey her "big sister."
This is our baby, whom we call BiB (Baby in Belly). ... Here is his/her's latest ultrasound. (I think he/she looks like me!) We can never seem to get a clear one because BiB is always too active. The technician, a rather stern brusque woman, quite hates us as 20 minute ultrasounds always become 45 minutes to 1 hour ones. I don't blame her, sometimes I get a little embarrassed that he/she can never just settle down for the woman to do her job.
The last time Stefan was at the ultrasound with me, BiB took a huge yawn and then started krumping. For those of you who don't know what that is, you can watch a video of what it is here. And the woman just said, "See? That is what he/she does every single time, the ENTIRE time!!" I just have to laugh and hope BiB got my mad dancing skills.
Well, Stefan is NOT pregnant, but I definitely am. This is me in my 22nd week. Yes, we're up to our usual tricks of keeping things quiet to ourselves. I think if we could have gone through the whole 9 months without saying a word, we really would have. This has been a really special time for Stefan and I.
So far, I have been extremely lucky. Other than a mini scare in the beginning, I have had none of the usual symptoms. Other than growing larger in the belly and chest area and getting the pregnancy tiredness, I feel almost exactly the same. I was really hoping for weird pregnancy cravings but so far, all I have wanted has been fruit, vegetables and yogurt. BORING...
Actually, I lied.
I seemed to have developed teenage acne, something I never had even as a teenager. Mama Kang thinks it could be a girl as I "sucked the beauty" out of her too.
All in all, it feels like a crazy science experiment... one that doesn't quite yet seem real.
I got some very sad news tonight. Marie's beloved Monkey was put to rest today after four years of suffering Lymphoma. I am glad I got to spend some time with her this past Thanksgiving where she was still her happy self. We were all very lucky to have had her in our lives for as long as we did.
Three weeks ago, my brother Kelvin and sister in law, Irene welcomed our latest addition, David. He is the first grandbaby in our side of our family. To say that all us are overjoyed would be an understatement. He is absolutely scrumptious and we are so excited to watch him grow up!
9 years dude! I don't really know whether to high five you or cry. Celebrating these anniversaries are also reminders of how old we're getting....
I thought I would share the story of our first date, since that is what AFD (Anniversary of First Date) Day is based on. You know how it is when you start dating as an adult, the two parties can never decide when the seriousness actually started. Hence, AFD Day.
It's really a cautionary tale on how not to have a first date.
We had met about 4 years earlier when I was 18, and was completely uninterested and apathetic towards you. Yes, I know you like to tell the world it's because you were dating and I was jealous I couldn't have you.
Err no. I don't generally like blonde men and I think you had your funny white-fro hair back then.
...the East Coast & West Coast besties are discussing getting pictures of each other for their wallets. The picture above is my choice and of course, includes beloved goddaughter. Let's be honest, when there's a baby, it's kind of all about the baby from now on. Her choice is first picture from the post below.
One of my most favourite presents ever (other than the big giant closet) is the bookshelf that Stefan very lovingly put up and arranged for me. (He really does know the ways to my heart!!!) We originally had a smaller bookshelf in place which I had colour coded, rather haphazardly. When we got this one, Stefan proceeded to colour code the main books by colours of the wheel. He is so TYPE A about certain things.
There are so many things I love about this whole thing.
I am such a bibliophile and love to collect books. On the very far left are vintage children's books (old Enid Blyton books) that I have collected over the years through auctions and also new children's books that I have discovered since buying Ryo her presents. It's a reflection of my early love of books and also to my very first job, which was working for a children's bookstore. I am actually not sure whether I am willing to share my collection of books with any of my possible future progeny. We all know I am so bad at sharing...
I actually re-read a lot of my books, so it's hard for me to give any of these books up (although I have edited the collection a little bit for the move). People are often shocked that the books are read at all. I tend to be anal about handling my books and not bending the spine etc.
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I also love the random tiny collectible things I have been given/collected over the years such as my vintage letterpress letters of my name, the chick from Bitter With Baggage books given to me by Marie...
The thing I absolutely love the most is the ever revolving pictures of the people I love the most in the world - my family, friends & Mindy.
We will be reconfiguring this again in our new space but I am not sure whether it will have as much impact without the high ceilings.
So au revoir beloved book case in old space! You have given me many years of utter joy!
You turned two this week. I missed calling you, I know, Godmama is bad sometimes like that. Please know though that you are never far from my mind. If you look under my categories "Lurves", you can see that you make up for most of that category.
Two years ago you were born.
I cannot imagine my life without you. You are so far away, but I still cherish every accomplishment you make. Every smile, every new word, every new act, every weird smile, I think of you in awe, how lucky I am to have been named as one of your godparents. What did I ever do to deserve that honour? Your mama's kindness plays a big part in it. God knows, I wouldn't pick me as a godmother.
You visited me this summer. You are such a big girl now, not the little baby you used to be. You have a personality of your own. You are funny, stubborn, sarcastic, acerbic, full of joy and laughter. You are charming and delightful. I can hardly believe you exist in my world. You're so funny in your possessiveness of your mama. When Jenna and I teased you how your mama used to belong to us before you were born, you stubbornly held on to her and declared her "mine!". Uncle Stefan (aka "Uncle Maow Maow") still repeats all the funny things you say.
At such a young age, you already show such exemplary taste. We took you to Holt Renfrew, and you said "Nuh-uh!" to every lower end shoe line that I was trying. For you, only Guccis, Manolos and Louboutins received your seal of approval. What can I say? I like your style. I just like you.
I cannot say that I will be the best godmother. I will always be impractical. After all, you have an ongoing "Paris" fund from me. You won't ever be able to ever come to me for "motherly" advice (Thank goodness you have the best mother ever!) but you can always count on me to be there. I will be the godmother who takes you shopping for your first non-practical bra, a first visit to the ballet, a shoe shopping trip in Paris. At the end of the day, if you don't want to ever do any of these things, I will be happy just to have you in my life.
I forgot to share very exciting news but second family is now visiting from Vancouver. It has almost been a year since I last saw them so it is a very exciting time. When I came to pick them up at the airport, Ryo gave me such a priceless look, as if saying,"Who the F are you and why the heck do you know my name?" Then she looked to Jenna as if to say, "Do you know who this strange person is?"
So far, she has been quicker to accept me this time around, already letting me hold her hand and read her books. I love that she still loves reading as that is my favourite type of gift to get her. She hasn't been too sure of Stefan yet. I guess it did not help that we all pretended to scream in horror when he walked through the door. We forget that a nearly two year old doesn't understand sarcasm yet...
About two months ago, I got a phone call at work that I never wanted to ever hear. Even though deep down inside I already knew before she had uttered the words. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer.
It wasn't completely unexpected, she had been having some issues for awhile, all of us are medical junkies so we read up all the possibilities of what it could be. And you pray that it's not what you think it is.
I cannot believe that it is our second wedding anniversary already! I can't believe because I am still not used to the idea of you-us-forever. If you think about it, marriage, taken seriously with the thought of forever can be a daunting thought.
The truth is, this year wasn't all rosy. A few close friends ended marriages or long term commitments. To say that these turbulences in our friends' lives don't affect our own would be a lie. You start to question things, issues that were underlying within our own relationship gets brought into the surface. Every time one of our friends' relationships ended, we'd have a couple of sour days following.
Talked to Marie really briefly tonight. For lack of time during the day, our actual voice conversations have gotten really scarce. The time difference never helps either. I am glad for the times when I am home late because every so often I get to catch her while Ryo is still awake.
She was saying how she's gotten so many hits on the video I recently posted. I have to confess.....it's me. I watch it often, I make my friends & family watch it often. I can't help that I love the kid.
Today, Ryo told me what sounds a cow, a sheep and a horse make. It was astounding to me that she understands and knows.
I just love that kid.
Can you imagine what it would be like if or when I actually have my own?
It's rainy, cold and I am tired. I've been working pretty long hours and am about to hit a crazy pace until the end of February. And sometimes, all I need is a little boost. And then I get this:
To me, hearing her laugh is instant joy. Isn't she SUCH a big girl now? I miss my West Coast family, and me thinks it's almost time to go for my bi-annual trip.
Marie says Ryo is developing a crazy little personality which she attributes to me. As much as I would like to think that I could somehow have influenced my goddaughter halfway across the country, I can take no credit. That child was born with a personality; capital, bold P. My favourite part of this video is the interaction between Marie and Ryo. Watch out for her breathy, Marilyn Monroe-esque "Hi" towards the end. All I can say is - Teenage Ryo? Watch out boys!
No longer a baby as you turn one today. One year ago, I spent most of the night crying before your birth, worried about your mama and sad that I couldn't be there. You definitely did not give your mama a good time of it, but suddenly there you were, this perfect being. I always thought you looked like a peach blossom at birth, all rosy cheeked and wrapped up.
I am sorry that I am not there with you today. For one brief moment when we were in Vancouver, I seriously contemplated attending the open house across the street from where you live. But Murat Daidai said I couldn't live so close to you because he couldn't have you loving me more. Little does he know, you will love me so much more when I start buying you outrageous outfits that neither your mama, dada or godfather will allow you to wear.
You probably don't remember this but maybe you can refer to this post when you are old enough to understand. We were at the night market and you finally, voluntarily came into my arms. Your mama said I could give you back if you got too heavy. Dude, you were so heavy (you're a good eater, I love this about you) but no way was I giving you up until my back really ached. We had our first real heart to heart talk.
I told you that you would never be a baby again, that the next time I saw you, you were always going to be a little bit bigger, grow into your own and that I was sorry that I couldn't always be there while you are growing up but that no matter what, I love you. You responded by sticking your finger up my nose, your newest trick last week.
I know in your own way, you were telling me you love me too.
Remember how I said Stefan and I don't travel well? Turns out that I was wrong. See? I can really admit when I am wrong, it's just that it doesn't happen very often. So this is what I discovered. Stef and I definitely have different attitudes when it comes to travel. I have a whole routine when I get to the airport while Stef likes to just meander through. I definitely need to have various options when it comes to what will keep my A.D.Dness occupied on a plane. Stef couldn't understand why I needed to buy another book when I already had two. Turns out, I didn't like one of the books I brought and I finished one of my books on the plane. It was 2 minutes of grumpy time for Stef who had told me not to buy a book at the airport.
We actually were fine in the plane. I sort of treat Stefan like my own personal Gumby (sans the green rubber), bending his limbs to suit my personal comfort. Yes, this is one of the few times when being small in stature really helps.
Anyway, how did the worlds colliding go? Better than expected. They both hugged and then proceeded to keep throwing random barbs and jibes at each other. All in a very good natured way. Ryo looked perplexed when she first met me and used one of my hands as a personal towel to wipe some dribbling drool off her face. She spent our first night acting shy, and hiding around Jenna. She would shoot me death stares but around Stefan, she would flash "beautiful eyes" and smile coyly. This was completely disconcerting to me.
Luckily this morning when Ryo woke up and was brought to say "Good morning" to Uncle Stef, she was completely bewildered by his presence and would sort of cry. All is good in my world again.
Today, at around 8:15 pm west coast time, my worlds are going to collide. Stefan and Marie have never met each other and today is the day that they do. People always think it's so weird that they haven't met despite the fact that I have known Marie for so long. The reason is because Marie only ever comes out east when she does the trade shows in NY and I tend to go out west for work. The one time when she did come to Toronto, Stefan was out of town. Also, my friendship and love for Marie has grown over time, the old fashioned way - emails and phone calls. There was never a circumstance when they would meet.
Over the years, the two of them seemed to have developed a love-hate relationship. Marie, who is soft spoken with a razor wit sense of sarcasm, loves to butt heads or opinions (usually conveyed through me via emails or phone calls) with Stefan who can never resist teasing a girlfriend. Neither one is more of an instigator than the other, they both do it the same amount. It can be quite funny to witness the various barbs and zingers they lob at each other. But part of me worries that they really won't get along. They both are equally important in my life.
But, I figure they're both adults and they'll work it out. As for me, I'll be hanging out with this little person, trying to make her do more of what she's doing in the video below.
7 years! I can barely believe it. Do you feel the itch? I don't feel one at all. If anything you enthrall and interest me more and more everyday. You're always making me laugh, assuring me when I need it, and you constantly challenge my mind. Knowing my A.D.D-ness, you would have thought that I would have gotten distracted by now, but you still completely fascinate me. What I appreciate most of all, is that you make sure that I begin every day and end every night knowing that I am loved.
You know those Mazda ads where the little boy looks into the camera, and says in an awed voice,"Zoom Zoom?"
That could aptly describe how I feel about Mitsuko right now. I've been transferring my contacts over from my PC to the Mac. It took both Stef and I a couple of google searches, but once we figured out to do it, it was pretty insane. All I would have to do is to drop the file and literally half a second after, all the info was there.
The weekend started off with Stefan being in the dog house for reasons that we won't go over right now. He's out of the dog house now and is currently happily situated in a place called "Sucking Up". All I can say is that boys can just be so DUMB sometimes. I spent a good day contemplating how lesbians are so lucky because at least they're all playing on the same mental playing field.
Despite the slow start to our long weekend, we are ending it off with a bang. Please meet "Mitsuko" the newest member in our family. She joins big sister "Millie" my 20G ipod and "Max" Stefan's ipod mini. We're slowly building our family of Apple gadgets. I have no idea why they all have names starting with "M".
So far the transition has been pretty smooth. I've been slowly migrating my info from the old clunker to this one. The reason why it's been slow is because "clunker" is unbearably slow. But as soon as the transfer begins, it's been pretty lightning fast on Mitsuko's end. The learning curve hasn't been as painful as I expected, although this will most likely change as I add iWork and Creative Suite onto this.
Some people have asked whether the macbook was a part of Stefan "making up" but no, I didn't even think about asking. This is purely my private purchase. I know we're supposed to share stuff now that we're married, but I especially don't like to share (I know, it's bad, I am working on this) technology. It's the Asian in me, I like to have my own technological toys. Stef may borrow it to test his stuff once in awhile but other than that, Mitsuko is for my own play.
Stef did clean the toilet today though, which you all know that to me, is a great way to make up.
As I mentioned fairly recently my parents live really close to me now. So close that walking over EVERY day for a Mama Kang home cooked meal is plausible. Stefan sometimes quips that I am taking advantage of my parent's closeness by raiding their fridge too much, but as usual he doth protest too much.
After all, my mother times HIS separate meals (because he really is THAT picky about food and my mother is convinced that when he's home, I chain Stefan to the old rotting radiators and feed him nothing but stale bread and water) to be ready just as soon as he walks in. Not only does he get an instant dinner, my mother also PACKS him a lunch. It's getting so bad that my mother who has developed a recent allergy to gluten will still bake him cakes daily, despite the fact that she can no longer eat it herself.
That, and I also get daily lectures from my father and mother that I have to not "bully" Stefan while he looks at them with his sad puppy dog eyes and asks why TSN is not in high definition on my dad's giant TV. I don't know what type of "bullying" they think I can really do to that stubborn giddy goat of a man that I married. Plus, he's twice my size and weight.
Then, there is also the fact that since my parents moved to a smaller place that they had to buy almost all new furniture to fit. Of course, the main thing for my parents is that they can have all their children en masse at the dining room table. But for the past month, the main focus of everything else is whether Stefan will be comfortable on the couch, what if he has no room to stretch out? He likes to have comfy pillows...
So excuse me if I deign to eat my mother's home cooked meals practically every day. I like to think I am making them happy by reliving my teenage years, where the only evidence I existed in their home was the fact that some food would be missing in the morning. Who's taking advantage of whom here, is what I am asking?
Like I said last week, Mama and Papa: Please remember that you gave birth to me and that you've known me longer. You should take my side once in awhile. After all, "technically" your beloved son-in-law has only officially been part of the family for a year and a bit. And Dad, seriously, DO NOT SUBSCRIBE to HD NHL Centre Ice next year. You don't even watch hockey.
Despite the slow start to our long weekend, we are ending it off with a bang. Please meet "Mitsuko" the newest member in our family. She joins big sister "Millie" my 20G ipod and "Max" Stefan's ipod mini. We're slowly building our family of Apple gadgets. I have no idea why they all have names starting with "M".