little bitty girl

I had my first spill on my bike a couple of weeks ago and I thought that I would share. Haven't I told you that sharing is caring? It was a very unfortunate incident on an early morning enroute to work and I managed to make a group of pre-schoolers cry. I have several different routes to work and this one takes me through a residential area. It had been raining and the leaves had managed to cover a minor pot hole on the sidewalk. A quick crash and I was down. Right in front of the group of pre-schoolers holding hands, out on their morning walk. One cried and of course, the rest of them started. What is it about children at this age? Is it a mutual sympathy thing?

Of course, the first thing on my mind is not that I fell, scraped my knee and bruised my thigh. My first thought were the very fabulous boots I had on, bought at the end of the season. What can I say? I am lucky to be blessed with small feet that I can wait to the very end of season sales. I always seem to score. I got these great vintage style boots for $225 marked down from $750. That, of course was my most foremost thought after crashing. Was whether the boots survived the fall. (They did).

Yes, I really am that superficial.

My second thought was that, I haven't had a knee scab or such a doozy of a bruise since high school years of playing field hockey. And how much I am looking forward to picking it.

Yes, I really am that gross.

I obviously have issues I need to work on.

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Posted in Me-ness

One of my favourite things about Paris was how much people biked in the city. In many ways, it makes sense. Streets are so narrow and windy, biking seemed the perfect way to get around. I really loved the Velib, and wished fervently that Stefan and I actually had the guts to do it. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Velib is a free bike hire (for up to half an hour) situated in many of the main areas in Paris. It was an initiative to reduce smog and congestion within the city. Such a great idea!

I know I keep raving about how chic Parisians are but to me, it was never more so than seeing Parisians on their bikes. Men in full 3-piece suits, women in heels with their vintage Kelly bags...I couldn't help but swoon. For the past couple of years I had considered getting a bike. This trip made me see that I could still rock my style while riding.

About a month ago, the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) threatened to go on strike (and they ended up striking for a weekend) and that's what solidified my decision. I bought my first bike in 18 years.

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Posted in Me-ness

You know whenever you see nature shows, you see monkeys tend to pick at each other, comb their fingers through each other's backs and pick stuff off whether it be dirt or lice? It always reminds me of my own family.

I am not sure who started the picking trend, definitely not the parents as none of them are pickers really. It's the second generation who are, siblings, cousins -- my oldest brother being the worst instigator.

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Posted in Family Shenanigans, Me-ness, Weirdness

I know.

It's been a really long time since I have written.

It is not for lack of things to write about but more the lack of time. I had been working on a huge deadline for an upcoming project the past few months and it was all I could do just to be normal. But now it's all over. The project was a success and now a couple of weeks of respite before working on the next one.

The hard thing for me to do now is to get back into the habit of writing. Don't you find that the less you write, the less you feel inclined to do it?

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Posted in Me-ness, Randomness

Yes, a start of another new year.

I hope everyone had amazing holidays. I've been so slack at posting lately. I've been busy with life, but mainly work. I have a deadline that is unavoidable, looming large and all my thoughts are on it.

Like the start of every year, you cannot help but reflect on the year that is past. Last year, like any other, had its own shares of highs and lows. I try to be like my mother and look forward to every day.

I am (very unfortunately) not like my mother. I don't know where she gets her calm because I certainly did not inherit those genes from her. This holiday season, my mother was ill, not in a very serious manner but enough to make me think, "My God! My parents are no longer in their 30's anymore." Because in my mind, my parents are forever young.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am utterly, completely terrified of death. It is a fear that keeps me up at night. One of the many reasons why I have this fear is because I cannot bear the thoughts of NEVER, ever seeing my loved ones again. The thought is so gut-clenching, so mind numbing that I would rather not think about it. In our book club last year, we read an incredible book that deals with this subject. How I wish I could be that brave to even talk about it in such an eloquent manner.

But the truth is, it happens.

What a morbid entry this must seem to you.

But what I wanted to say was, I am not one for making resolutions and I am not really going to start now. I do know that this is what I am going to try to do differently this year: to not sweat the small stuff, to remember that work can never be more important than living my life (hmmm...good luck with this, workaholic that I am) to enjoy every day the best way I can and to love the people I love as much as I can.

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Posted in Family Shenanigans, Me-ness

Whenever I put my ipod on shuffle, Stefan always complains that almost every other song is a Madonna song. "You're being ridiculous", I always reply.

Today, I decided to put his theory to the test. I decided to put my ipod to just "Artist" and I played Madonna all day at work. The music lasted from 9:00 am to approximately 4:43 pm. That's pretty impressive, if I say so myself. I guess I am a bigger Madonna fan than I realized.

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Posted in Me-ness

First poop, now barf. This blog is going down the toilet. Literally.

I am lying in bed after a friend's attempt to unwittingly assassinate me yesterday with food. Actually, we're not sure what caused it all as she's fine as a fiddle. It's just me.

I have not had food poisoning this bad since goodness knows when. The first barf, I thought,"I wonder if I drank too much?" but we didn't really drink more than normal for a school (work) night. But after the 8th chuck up of the night, I knew that this had to be more. I have basically been barfing for about 13 hours straight. I am just so sexy right now.

I have to say, even when I was a little girl, I always hated vomiting. I can never understand bulimia or anorexia (because now all I can think about is eating food). But that is another sickness all together that I won't dive into right now.

The only thing good I can say about this whole ordeal is that:

I got some good cardio in today from my many sprints to and fro the bathroom.

I am finally getting some reading done with Amy Hempel's book for Ship.

I found out that some people take gravol to get high. How weird is that?!

I am all barfed out so the possible couplings of these two, can't make me any sicker.

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Posted in Me-ness

So awhile ago, I mentioned the fact that I was a "bashful pooper" and it is probably one of my more popular posts. I would like to say that I have gotten over this poopy problem but unfortunately, it's not true. I am still as bashful as ever.

Why do I bring this up after all this time? Because I honestly thought, reaching the ripe old age of 30, that I would be over this issue. After all, it is such a natural part of being a human being. Alas! I have gained no further wisdom when it comes to this.

I had a comment on the "Bashful Pooper" post that males felt the same thing. But I really think that the commenter was a minority. Boys still go pooping whenever they have need and many females I know go constipated or uncomfortable as ever.

Why do women feel so much shame when it comes to such a natural act? Is it a need to be "feminine" or "fragile"? I am not sure.

After all, what goes in, must come out.

But here I am. Still weirded out by my poop.

I honestly do think my parents should have bought me this book. And that is why this is one of the first books I bought for the beloved godchild.

Ironic that it should be one of her favourites. Secretly, I am hoping that "poop" will be one of her first words other than mama, dada, hi, bye and no.

That would be ironic.

Because Marie is also weirded out by pooping around other people. And yet she makes fun of me for my fear.

And that would be very funny.

For me, anyways.

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Posted in Me-ness

Does anyone else get this?

Because I have a real bad case of this and it's compounded by Mr. "Hey! Let's Just Go With The Flow".

What is this? A fear of running out of toilet paper.

I'm usually the one in charge of getting personal items such as toothpaste, toilet paper, etc from Shoppers. Not for any other reason other than I love browsing in drug stores. Stefan, however, is in charge of letting me know when these things run out.

For some reason, he thinks it's a game to see how long we can last on that last roll of toilet paper while it causes me no ends of distress. Once, I was down to the last square and it was not fun. Now when I see there's only one roll left, I'm like a starving person wondering when my next meal will be. Stef just laughs and reminds me that there is a drugstore just down the street from us.

I can't decide whether I am just a needless worrier or whether he's too carefree in this situation. Or whether this is just a boy-girl thing because boys only use toilet paper when they need to poop.

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Posted in Girls Are From Earth, Boys Are From La La Land, Me-ness, Stefan

If I didn't know my mum was so straight and narrow, I would've sworn she was on drugs when she was carrying me. I get the most LSD filled dreams (and trust me, I'm not on drugs either. My individual adrenaline and personality is insane enough for some people) that I sometimes feel the Dream Fairy delivered the wrong dreams to me.

Last night I dreamt that we were in a place where if you had taken an aerial shot, it would have looked like pieces of lace, land being part of the "lace" and the holes were bodies of water. Stef and I were swimming from land to land trying to find life, other than ourselves. Suddenly, we heard some human voices and swam toward this very thin piece of land, so thin that it felt like a very small fence, you could only hold onto it. I was quite tired by then and could barely keep myself afloat. That piece of land turned out to be the edge of a huge rushing river.

When I looked over I saw all these people salmon fishing, and the salmon swimming upstream were these massive pre-historic dinosaur type beasts, all larger than a very tall man.

Stefan said I cried out in the middle of the night so he thought I was having a nightmare and tried to comfort me.

Turns out that in my dream, he was trying so hard to see these creatures, he was leaning very heavily on my left side and I felt myself slipping from the edge. What I was actually trying to do was yell, "Get off me, you big baboon!"

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Posted in Me-ness, Much To Do About Nothing, Weirdness

I was going to write something like,"I am no longer going to post any more entries until Stefan a.k.a Technical Support has put up my new effing masthead." But then I realized that would be petty. And I don't do petty anymore. You know why? Because I'm finally thirty and in addition to frilly, tartan mini skirts that have been taken to the local charity store, I have also done away with my pettiness. And pickiness. And bitchiness. And impatient nature.

And if you believed all of the above, you're a fool and do not know me at all.

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Posted in Joy-Friends, Me-ness

Anyone who knows me knows that I harbour a secret love for redheads and girls with curly hair. Not necessarily together, but you know, you always want what you can't and don't have. All my redheaded friends are these outrageously, fun, outgoing, spontaneous girls. Yes, I meet the occasional meek, shy, redheaded girl but they are very few and far in between. I think I admire their natural spunk.

And curly hair? Forget about it! For the longest time I wanted to make sure I married someone who could ensure my children would have afros. I know you think I married the whitest man alive but were I to scan his university pictures, you will see that Stefan truly is an albino black man. If he grows his hair quarter of an inch longer, he has this huge afro puff. Then there is his Bahamian born butt which we will not talk about right now. I sincerely hope our progeny inherits his follicles.

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Posted in Family Shenanigans, Me-ness, This is Why

You too can get the look of collagen injected lips without going to the doctor. Guaranteed 100% effective. Look like Angelina Jolie with no financial cost.

Method: Drink beer that has wasp at the the rim without noticing. Feel fluttering against lip, pinch fluttering object, thereby incurring anger of said wasp forcing it to sting your bottom lip, causing swelling. To even out both bottom and top lip, try to get a wasp to sting the other lip at the same time. This is NOT recommended.

Side Effects May Cause: Possible death if allergic (Thank goodness, I was not), Not much attention from husband after he realizes you're not going to die, Serious stinging to the point of seeing stars as lip is very sensitive area, Internal itching (probably from the venom), Jokes about how Stefan and I should not take out our anger on each other physically, Swelling for longer than a day (if you are particularly sensitive to insect bugs like me).

Possible solutions: Ice and Meat Tenderizer (recommended by someone who got bitten a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately it's not something I usually carry in my bag but will give some thought to it for the future).

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Posted in Me-ness, Much To Do About Nothing, Randomness, Weirdness

That's who I sound like right now. Stefan had a really terrible hacking dry cough for the past two weeks and, lo and behold, now I have it too. It's one of the many perils of marriage or living in close quarters with someone. I have barely been able to speak without having to cough half my oesophagus out. I am sure, secretly, Stefan is relieved that there is some semblance of quiet in our home.

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Posted in Family Shenanigans, Homage to Hunger, Joy-Friends, Me-ness, Randomness

I don't think I should be around children around their formative years. I never say the appropriate things when I should. Last weekend, we were at Stef's footy game where I was talking to these twins, who are kids of one of the players. It's funny how they are so identical in looks and yet so different in personality.

Me: Boys! Look how tall you guys are! What happened?

Twin #1: We just turned 4! (puts out 4 fingers)

Twin #2: Yeah, and you know 4 is bigger than 3.

Me: Really! Well, how is 4 turning out for you guys?

Twin #1: (shrugs and then nods) You know, pretty good.

Twin #2: It could be better.

Later on -

Me: Where are you guys going?

Twin #1: Going to Grandma's! We're gonna church tomorrow!

Twin #2: Kawen, (they still haven't figured out the R in my name yet) are you gonna come to church with us?

Me: No, dear. I'm a heathen.

They both looked at me and exclaimed,"Cool!" and went scampering to their mother to ask whether they could be heathens too. Luckily, their mum has gotten used to me saying belligerent things and just made up a different definition for the word "heathen".

Later on this week, we watched Meet The Fockers where Ben Stiller accidentally teaches his nephew to say," Asshole." I can pretty much guarantee that my child's first words will not be "asshole" but I am not placing any bets that it won't be "motherfucker."

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Posted in Me-ness

Last night, I dreamt that I gave birth to a 20 lb., vinyl skinned, robin's blue egg baby. Turns out, Stefan's an alien. I was NOT pleased.

Tell me Freud, am I insane?

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Posted in Me-ness, Weirdness

I lost my wedding band.

Again.

Before you get all judgmental on me, I want to make it clear that I love Stefan very, very much. I really do honor the vows we made to one another, I appreciate the gesture he made when he put my ring on my finger. I do understand the importance of what it all means. I really do love my band and feel quite naked without it.

I want you to know that I never lose my band on purpose. I've never been able to wear any type of jewelry for long periods of time. Even in my teenage years when I thought I was Henry VIII and wore numerous rings on every finger, I always needed to take everything off as soon as I got home.

Plus, have you seen my ring? For one thing, it's not the most practical thing to wear when you're cleaning the bathroom or massaging herbs into a whole chicken. It's also pretty darn heavy. My left hand probably has the same strength as my right hand now that I've been wearing it over the year.

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Posted in Me-ness, Stefan

Isn't it funny how we as individuals can form such odd habits? I often wonder where it comes from. For me, I am particularly weird about my stationery. I remember always having a list for my back to school shopping as I could only do my work on specific things.

For example, all my math homework could only be done on graph paper. If I happened to have run out of graph paper, I would write all my notes on lined paper and re-copy all of the day's work on graph paper. All math notes must be written in blue medium point pen and actual work in mechanical pencil. English notes were to be written in black fine point ink pen. And notes could never be messy. I've been known to rewrite whole chapters of work if I felt like they were messy. There was a very good reason for this madness though. The neater my notes were the better I always did in that particular class.

Now in my adulthood, my weirdness is seeping into my work. I have a nice bounded book to write a list of things I want to accomplish each day. I also have a paper pad to just scribble miscellaneous notes. The entries in the bounded book is written in black ink pen, notes are made in red ink. When I am done a task, I can only cross it off with a yellow highlighter. Blue means an issue is pending, pink means that there is a major issue on this, orange means that I should look at it and follow up at a later date.

And the whole point of this entry is that I can't find my yellow highlighter and I am all discombobulated over this. I get great satisfaction out of crossing things off my list. I must go and see whether there is some office store nearby.

Does anyone else have weird habits with their work?

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Posted in Me-ness, Weirdness, What's Buggin' Me

As everyone knows, I like instant satisfaction. As easy-going and carefree as I may seem to be, I definitely like my routine especially when it comes to my computer stuff. So needless to say when I received an email from Flickr saying that old skool members need to merge their accounts with their yahoo accounts, I wasn't very happy. For me, it's just another bloody online thing that I need to remember my username and password for.

K: Did you get this stupid email from Flickr?
S: Yes, I already merged my account.
K: That's so annoying. Now I have to get some new account?
S: I am sure you already have an account.

Impatiently types "yahoo.com" and waits. For 2 minutes.

K: What the hell? What's taking so long?! I'm cancelling my stupid f*@$%ing flickr account!!

Stefan sensing a brewing tantrum is about to take place comes over and tries to soothe me by hugging me and then mocking me.

S: (in his "Karen" voice) Stupid Flickr! Stupid Yahoo! I am cancelling my flickr! I am cancelling my blog! Screw this! (in his own voice) Who's impatient?

K: Well....

Fortunately making me laugh always gets me out of a funk. More tapping on keys and this realization....

K: I already have a stupid yahoo account.

Stefan starts laughing and sulking ensues on my end....

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Posted in Me-ness, Stefan

My parents are redecorating our family home and part of the re-decorate is dismantling my childhood bedroom. It's been a little traumatizing having to decide what I no longer want to keep especially since I was such a pack rat. I came across some of my old high school assignments and it was funny looking back on past tests and essays. Here's one that I thought I would share.

It was my final assignment for one of my three graduating English classes where we had to write a 20 page essay comparing two books. It was our prelude to writing hard core essays for university. Fortunately for me, my English teacher appreciated my inner nerdiness and permitted me to write a 40 page essay comparing three books. In my notes that I found, this was what I wrote for my opening paragraph-

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Posted in Me-ness

What? Already?

I can't believe that it's been two years since this blog was started.

I don't really know how to describe what this blog means to me. It's been through its many changes and moods.

It first started as a way for friends around the world to catch up, then I wanted it to be a venue where I could practise my writing skills. For awhile, I wondered whether I should have a "theme." Should I be a food blog? An admirer of design blog? A pseudo gossipy blog? Then for a very brief moment in time, I had serious blog envy. How come other people have so many readers? Am I just this big blog LOSER?

Then I lost the focus of why I ever wanted to blog in the first place.

The funny thing is once I stopped caring and started writing again for me, that was when I found my own voice once more. Now, I'm always shocked by just how many strangers and acquaintances read this blog. In my mind, I am just writing for a small few who are too far away to see me. But I admit, I am always really flattered when acquaintances come up and tell me how much they enjoyed a particular entry or how it's "so me". I want this blog to be "so me." Hence, the haphazard entries about nothing in particular.

My big shocker this year, is that my mum reads this obsessively and calls me when I haven't posted an entry. Why is this a shocker, you ask? Well, it just seemed that not too long ago we were teaching mama the concept of "double clicking." Now that she's surfing the internet and finding stuff she wants to find? It boggles the mind! You would think that this would make me censor some of my writing a little. But, no. Besides, Mama Kang needs a little jolt of excitement every so often. That's what keeps her looking so young!

I would like to think that I helped inspire some people to blog this year (i.e my brothers). I love that some of my friends and other family have also started to blog. I like getting glimpses of their day to day lives. That are so many new things that I've learnt about them as people.

And for the bloggers that I've never met but feel such a kinship to? I am constantly astounded and humbled by the generosity of spirit and kindness that we, as a community extend to one another. What I love the most? I love that for few moments in time, I get to live vicariously through your lives.

Thank you.

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Posted in Me-ness

Katherine from Chatiryworld gave me the idea for this entry.

A review of some of my favourite pictures and some of the cool things (at least to me) that happened this past year.

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Posted in Me-ness

This was my contribution to the second round of the compound word project. This was the mastermind of the delightful Shari. Essentially, what she does is assign various volunteer individual bloggers a word; and they take a picture that they believe best reflects their idea of that word and she creates these wonderful diptychs out of those pictures. Our challenge is to guess what the two words are. Go check it out.

It's a really fun collaborative project and it's always so interesting to see what people will shoot. After seeing everyone's pictures, it also makes me think,"Oh darn! I really should have shot this instead for my word." I think mine is a really easy. Can you guess it?

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Posted in Me-ness

but did you know that Christmas is just around the corner?

I woke up this morning and was literally pacing back and forth. I felt like a chicken with it's head cut off. Except I don't think they last all that long after they've been beheaded. I was pacing for at least 20 minutes. Picking up something, dropping it and deciding to do something else. I couldn't really decide what I needed to do the most.

Mail some of my Christmas postage?
Finish my knitting projects?
Tidy up the pig sty that is my apartment?
Figure out whether I had everyone's addresses for holiday cards?
Do some Christmas shopping?

Unfortunately, my body decided for me having been kept awake until the wee hours of the morning and I spent most of my day on the couch, watching the Food Network (Love you, Ina!) and subsequently fell asleep with Mindy on my chest.

Stefan's definitely rubbed off his "I put off what I can until the very last minute, especially when it comes to Christmas shopping because I revel in the stress" attitude on me. I am usually all done and organized by the first week of November.

I must get my Christmas groove on though or I am going to be very sorry for it.

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Posted in Me-ness

I promise to love you all the days of my life.

I promise to always treat you with honor and respect.

I promise to never abuse you, or in any way cause you harm or hurt.

I promise that as long as I live, you will not want for affection.

I promise that you will always be precious to me.

I promise to never again wear you to the gym or have you on board when I am using my hand as a human hammer.

The blinger is back with it's partner!! I thought it was appropriate to say make some vows to it.

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Posted in Me-ness

I love rap and hip hop.

What can I say? I love all types of music actually but I definitely have a special place in my heart for this in particular. My teenage years were spent around aspiring hip hop and rap artists, many of whom are now the genre's superstars. At least in Canada.

For most people who aren't into it, it all sounds the same to them. But for those who are in the know, there are definitely unique styles and flavors that particular artists have. For those of you who share my same love, check out this link. It's of comedian Aries Spiers imitating some hip hop's hottest stars. It's pretty sick.

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Posted in Me-ness

I was going to be all sage and talk about the truths that I've learnt about myself these 29 years but instead I am going to write about my life list. I had stumbled on to the Ellen show sometime last week and was captivated by her opening story about someone fulfilling something on her "life list." Not being a regular watcher of this show, I didn't really know what they were talking about. The whole thing is about how people should actually write a list of what they would like to do because the act of writing makes you more apt to do it. During this show, a woman had said she wanted to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and she had recently done it with her husband.

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Posted in Me-ness

I turned 29 this Sunday. This is the last year of my twenties, (woo hoo!) and then I have my thirties to look forward to. The funny thing is, I've been telling people I was 30 since I was 25, not for any reason other than the fact that I lost track after the quarter milestone age. Stefan would often say, "Sweetie. People usually lie down about their age, not up."

Anyway, celebrations started early with the footy team making it to the finals next week. You can imagine what the mood was like at our party later on that night. At some point, the team started singing their team song and the other non-footy guests were left surprised and stunned. "Are we supposed to know the words?" many of them asked later. Around midnight, the boys led a rousing, slightly out of tune "Happy Birthday" and it was all very, very sweet.

I managed to also catch up with a lot of other friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I was utterly spoiled with great food provided by our friend Richie and had lots of lovely little presents. My favourite by far was when individual footy boys pulled me aside and told me how much they appreciate me and that I was such an integral part of the team. It's nice to know that they appreciate the fact that I support them. Also, boys usually don't talk about "feelings" so that made it extra sweet.

The party ended around 5 a.m and we went to bed around 6 or so. That's because I had decided to clean up after the party. It was the BEST decision because there is nothing worse than waking up to an alcohol tinged mess. I think that's going to be my new policy whenever I have a party again. I wish I took more photos of the night...

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Posted in Joy-Friends, Me-ness

I have a birthday coming up in a couple of weeks (Woo Hoo! Christina and I will officially be the same age then). I have been thinking about my last entry. It's SO nice that so many people commented, via email and comments about how much they liked our space. It's always the same old story where you don't appreciate what you have. You know how when you have a space that you have had for awhile, you forget why you loved it in the first place? I've been feeling it lately when our place was the "One Big Pile." Even before I posted the last entry, some friends (as I had been contemplating moving) reminded me that they wanted to be the next one to take over our space.

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Posted in Me-ness

Last year when I was travelling like a mad woman, I found that Stefan and I were snipping a lot. Many of the arguments had to do with the fact that the apartment was untidy when I got back. Marie thinks that I have OCD when it comes to cleaning and I think I may be a little OCD. Don't get me wrong, I am not the type of person who will follow you around my apartment and put back everything you misplace. I just find that I am so much calmer, especially during busy work periods, when the apartment is clean. This was especially so when I was on the road all the time. I would clean and even stay up if I had to, before leaving the next day. There's something about leaving and coming home to a clean apartment.

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Posted in Me-ness

I have a tendency to talk to random strangers all the time. I think part of it is because I am naturally chatty (I know, I am stating the obvious here) and part of it is because I am a small town girl at heart. I grew up just knowing the people in my neighbourhood and local shops. I think people who live in big cities tend to be afraid of striking up random conversations with strangers as we tend to be insular. I think part of it is being protective of oneself.

I've never really gotten into that habit. Another thing about me is that I tend to remember details about people so when I re-meet them, I'll ask them about school/family/life event. It just makes this big city seem like a small neighbourhood to me - a la Cheers.

Stefan, who is normally shy always finds it bewildering when I wave to people on the street; like the linen guy who did all the linens at the restaurants I worked at, or the UPS guy from my first job. He'll always exclaim after a brief interchange of words with said people, " Sweetie! You really gotta stop being so friendly! It's ridiculous already."

Yesterday, I called for sushi at the nearby sushi restaurant. The voice on the phone sounded vaguely familiar but I wasn't sure. When I went to pick up my food the person on the other line turned out to be this rather ornery waitress, who hadn't been at the restaurant for the past year and a half. She had gone to work somewhere else. Now, this woman is generally quite brusque in manner so I never really know whether she found my friendly chatter annoying or not. As I started to leave, she suddenly blurted," You know, I've missed you." Incredulous at finally hearing a somewhat friendly tone from her, I looked back and there was a smile; ever so brief and then it was gone.

It made my day.

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Posted in Me-ness

I've been reading my cousin's blog in Asia and she's been talking a lot about food that she likes or is craving. Which has made me start to think that what my Kong Kong (Grandpa) used to call me (Banana - Yellow on the outside, White on the inside) might not be so far off. Mind you, I think he just called me that because I could never master the different dialects of Chinese that he would speak and not because of my food preferences. These are some reasons why I think I might not be 100% Asian.

I can eat cheese until the cows come home.
Most Asians I know tend to be lactose intollerant. Ken, my oldest brother, happens to be one of them. The man loves the cheese but giving him any in a small enclosed space, (like his apartment in NY) is like asking for a slow, painful toxic death. I usually toss it into his apartment and run away. I, on the other hand, can eat all types of cheese and it never affects me.

I don't like chicken feet.
I know many food bloggers have extolled on this delicacy and how if people could get over the fact that they were feet, they would come to understand how tasty the morsel really was. I think that there is a special way on how to eat them and I've never mastered it. Now, I'm just way too old to be bothered. After all, there are many other weird things in the world to eat, what's one less in my repertoire? Unfortunately, for my Asian friends and family who have to sit next to me during dim sum, I am the person that everyone in the room will give me the googly eye because I always pass on the stupid chicken feet.

Durian is not my king.
The Durian has long been called the king of fruit due to it's thorny shell. This fruit is mainly prevalent in South East Asia and Malaysians worship it. I have to admit that I love the taste; the fruit is a little like rich sweet custard, there is nothing like it in the world. The smell? Imagine wet hockey equipment left in bag, sitting in sunny spot all week and the stench that emanates when you finally deem to open it. Disgusting! As a little girl, as soon as I found out that the family had gone out to buy the fruit, would run around and lock all the doors and windows and make everyone eat the fruit outside. I am sure I'll eat it again at some point, I'll just have to make sure that my nose is plugged.

You can take my rice but don't take my pasta.
A lot of Asians I know can't live without having rice every day. My dad freaks out if there is anything less than 20 pounds of rice in the pantry. I don't really care if I never eat rice again for the rest of my life but you really can't take anything noodle-ish away from me. I blame this on living in an Italian neighbourhood when we first moved here. I just love my pasta!

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Posted in Homage to Hunger, Me-ness

Years ago, I had this ridiculous key ring. It was on a long chain and on the actual key ring, there were something like 20 keys. All various miscellaneous keys from our former homes and some friends' homes keys. Back in the day, we used each other's homes like hotel rooms.

People always made fun of my key ring since I only ever used 2 actual keys on it. I liked it because there was some weight to it and I never lost it because that thing jingled so much. I finally decided this year to switch my keys to a dainty Tiffany's ring; a present from my mother in law. Everyone agreed it was time that I had an adult ring. I didn't want to say anything but I actually wanted this key ring because it was larger but I just got one of the basic ones.

Wouldn't you know it? I lost that dainty key ring in 2 weeks. And now, I've also managed to lose our two spare keys because they were on these nothing keychains. I really need to buy a janitor's ring and put lots of miscellaneous rings on it.

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Posted in Me-ness

Happy "666" Tuesday, everyone! I got this idea from Scrapalicio.us.

I AM: always curious.

I WANT: to see my family and friends happy all the time.

I HAVE: a wonderful husband, who is also my best friend.

I WISH: I could be multiple people at the same time to satisfy all my various curiosities about the world.

I HATE: Mindy's poo bum and Stefan never cleaning the toilet. I obviously have issues with shit.

I MISS: dining en famille on Sunday afternoons.

I HEAR: Ipod in the background, the streetcars dinging their bells, Mindy and Stefan's consecutive heavy breathing when they are taking a nap together on a lazy afternoon.

I WONDER: whether there is a God sometimes.

I REGRET: not taking my art classes more seriously. I am envious of people who are good illustrators.

I AM NOT: a patient person. I want everything NOW and not LATER. Guess I never outgrew that nasty childhood habit.

I DANCE: whenever I can.

I SING: a lot less than I used to, something to do with the fact that I don't want our neighbours to hear me.

I CRY: a lot more than I used to. I used to be the Ice Queen until I turned 25. Stefan says I lied to him because I always bragged about not crying and now I will cry at tissue commercials.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: as organized as I like to think I am.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Food and general chaos.

I WRITE: all the time, whenever I can, on whatever I find. My brain is always spilling over with random thoughts.

I CONFUSE: wealth and success with richness of life. I'm working at it.

I NEED: to eat seafood at least three times a week.

I SHOULD: use my gym membership more often, or just get rid of it.

I START: trains of thoughts and then usually will get distracted by another and never finish my original thought.

I FINISH: books like the latest Harry Potter in a day. It drives Stefan crazy since it usually takes him a month.

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Posted in Me-ness

Early during the week while I was doing a pilates tape, I noticed something that I had not noticed before. Could it....could it be? Yes, it was. The first few dimples on my right buttock cheek. I didn't bother looking at my left but I am sure it's there as well. Cellulite has finally decided to grace my ass.

I am not sure when exactly that I got it since looking at my butt is not really a daily activity, but to be honest I was a little curious as some girls mentioned theirs during the cottage weekend so I decided to check. And there it was.

I pullled down Stef's pants as soon as he got into his lounging bottoms to see whether he had any and he didn't. Drat! It seems boys don't get it as often as girls, especially athletic boys. How unfair!

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Posted in Me-ness

This is what happens when you do too much random surfing when you really should be doing other important things, like washing the dishes. This idea was from Carly and the help of Wikipedia.

October 1 is the 274th day of the year (275th in leap years) in the Gregorian Calendar. There are 91 days remaining.

A few important events that have happened on this date -

965 - John XIII becomes Pope
1869 - Austria issues the world's first postcards
1949 - The People's Republic of China is declared by Mao Zedong
1964 - The Free Speech Movement is launched on the campus of University of California, Berkeley
1971 - Walt Disney World opens in Orlando, Florida

Other people born on this date -

1207 - Henry VIII (aka as the first royal male slut)
1910 - Bonnie Parker (one half of Bonnie and Clyde - oh yeah!)
1935 - Julie Andrews (...doe a deer...)
1976 - Dora Ventner (a porn actress - cool!)

Holidays or observances celebrated on this date-

World Vegetarian Day
National Day for the People's Republic Of China
Independence Days for Nigeria, Cyprus andTuvalu

I looked up Stef's birthday and thought that this was hilarious. Only two holidays and observances are celebrated on January 18th -

Week of Prayer for Christian Unity begins
Sex and Pornography Day in Chile

Guess Chileans don't think Christian unity is as important as getting your freak on.

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Posted in Me-ness

I know this meme has been going around for ages and I've been enjoying other people's. I finally got officially "tagged" by Abby so what the heck? Here goes -

Four Jobs That I've Had
1. Plate Beautifier - This was a job I had on weekends at our family restaurant. My main duty was to garnish plates going out. I still cut my carrots into flowers for a stir fry.
2. Working at a children's bookstore - My first "official" job as a high school student. I still love children's books and have a propensity to rearrange bookshelves at bookstores.
3. Bartender/Waitress - I had such a great time working with my high school best friend. We luckily got hired together and were a great team. Also learnt to consume a lot of alcohol at this stage.
4. Warehouse Manager for a clothing store - I would carry these huge boxes in four inch heels and put my "strapping" male assistants to shame.

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over Again
1. All of the extended Lord of The Rings - I know all the dialogue and it drives Stefan mad.
2. Amelie - everyone's favourite!
3. A&E's Pride and Prejudice - I just watched this on the weekend.
4. Any of Hayou Miyazaki's movies. - I really still am a kid at heart.

Four TV Shows That I Love To Watch
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. 60 Minutes
3. Cold Case
4. Anything on the Discovery Channel pertaining to ancient history - big nerd. :)

Four Places I've Lived
1. Melaka, Malaysia
2. Markham, Ontario
3. Etobicoke, Ontario
4. Toronto, Ontario
wow. BO-ring! I should rectify this one soon....

Four Places I've Vacationed
1. Negril, Jamaica
2. Melbourne, Brisbane and Gold Coast, Australia
3. Singapore
4. Ellicottville, NY

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. Ebay
2. Etsy
3. Plethora of gossip blogs
4. All the links I listed on my site

Four Of My Favourite Foods (JUST FOUR?)
1. Asian Noodle Soups - I can eat only this until the day I die and be perfectly content as there is so much variety.
2. Any type of seafood - current favourite is grilled lobster with jerk seasoning.
3. Any in season fruit, especially the exotic variety.
4. Any food that my mama makes!

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
1. Exploring the great Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
2. Paris, France
3. Istanbul, Turkey
4. Barcelona, Spain

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Posted in Me-ness

What an exhausting week this has been, both mentally and physically.

I'm having a hard time juggling my many hats. I've been taking an entrepreneurial course in addition, to it being my busy work season. Thank goodness the course isn't all the time but I've been putting in my full 12 hour days every day to make up for everything else.

I must say there have been some absolutely fascinating things that I've learnt so far. I have to admit that I am a nerd. I've always really liked school and learning. It's nice to do something a little different from my business, albeit if it's to learn on how to run it properly.

Regardless, I was just completely drained by Friday.

There is nothing like a little organization to make me feel like I've regained some control. Even if it's not true. This idea came courtesy of the lovely Abigail. Now, I am wondering what I am going to do when I bring the rest of my books from my parents place.

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Posted in Me-ness

Another random Monday musing....

I love watching "Inside the Actor's Studio" as James Lipton tends to ask very riveting questions. Yesterday's episode, (a rerun) featured Robin Williams who I swear, is one of the funniest human beings alive and a very underated dramatic actor.

At the end of the show, James always asks the same ten questions and one of them was "What is your favourite sound?"

Robin had answered with a sound that sounded like a repressed fart, saying how it was the common denominator among men. How the pope could be giving a prayer and still have a "poot!" come out from his ass. I found that very funny.

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Posted in Glued To The Tube, Me-ness

being a workaholic.

I thought that once I started working for myself that I would be much better at this "not being married" to work thing but in fact, it's even worse. I know that the first year of going solo is always a struggle and a constant reshuffling of how things used to be. At the same time, I really need to learn how to chill out.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a fellow business owner and he told me that I need to re-think my battle plan. I have a tendency to want to go above and beyond my call of duty. He pointed out that I could not be all things to all people and I needed to start picking and choosing what I wanted to do.

Very frank words but I believe he's right. I guess I will have to just keep on figuring this thing as the year pans out.

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Posted in Me-ness

Someone asked me about my expectation to read more books in the new year. They wanted to know how it's possible since I read an average of four books per week.

I guess the bad thing about being a speed reader is that it makes less of an excuse to read less than that amount. Since I read so quickly, I also read a fair amount of "junk food" books. You know the kind, feeds the craving but has no real substance so I usually don't count those as "real" books. (Sorry, bestseller lists out there!) However, they are absolutely essential in cleansing the mind before reading something substantial. After all, no one wants to be maudlin all the time.

Anyways, I just think there are so many books in the world and I should try to read as many as I possibly can before I die. That's all....

I still won't read the Russians though.

Posted in Me-ness

I don't like the idea of resolutions.

Maybe it's because I am the youngest child and have a tendency to be a bit rebellious. If you tell me to go left, I'll go right. I see resolutions as some other rule to follow. Besides, my resolutions are never the typical ones, like lose 10 pounds, or learn to swim. Although learning to do something you don't know is always a good thought.

However, I just wanted to say what a crazy year 2005 has been for me - getting a new job, leaving the job, starting my own business, losing a grandmother, making amazing new friends, writing more, laughing and learning. This year felt like an insane roller coaster ride and yet it's also made me realize how blessed I am in my partner, friends and family. Every year makes me appreciate them all more. So, thank you all for being in my life.

So, instead of resolutions here are some things I'd like to try to do in the new year -

Eat more seafood, cooked in different ways.

Spend more time with my girlfriends.

Get in touch with my creative-crafty side.

Not to be such a workaholic.

Give back more to society.

Spend more time teasing parents and brothers.

Read more books (this is a permanent MUST TRY every year).

Go for more walks with Stefan.

Remember to laugh out loud.

Hope everyone else has an amazing 2006!

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Posted in Me-ness

I have been thinking about this question that was posted by Lisa for awhile now.

I am going to attempt to answer it in a non-convoluted manner but since that is usually how my brain processes questions, it will be a fairly hard task.

I should start off by saying that I have always written. I have been fascinated with the written word ever since I could read, which was at a the very young age of 4. My parents were big on us kids reading early so that we could discover the joy of books before television. For me, it stuck. As soon as I discovered that there was this whole other world I could get lost in, I was gone.

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Posted in Me-ness

I have serious craft envy. I am NOT crafty. It's quite the sad situation.

All my various friends seems to be craft masters and then there is the world of incredibly crafty people, Loobylu, Wee Wonderfuls and Liquid Paper being my current favourites. Then there is me and I am made of all toes. Not even thumbs! Toes.

For some reason, I decided I was going to teach myself how to crochet. Stefan's question to me was,"Why?"

I don't know why. I'd like to think that if I tried, I could figure it out but craft is not like wordplay or a math problem where I can somehow just figure it out. It's just some really alien form to me. I think I should stick with collages.

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Posted in Me-ness, Needles, Bows and Toes

I pity the world. Now there is not just one forum for my insanity but two! I am going to be a regular fashion contributor on this blog about living in Toronto, blogTO. I guess this isn't such a huge stretch from me since I tend to be fascinated by all aspects of style and like things.

So, check the site out once in awhile...

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Posted in Me-ness

Do you sometimes feel that some parts of your body don't really fit your body? It's as if when God was making you, he wasn't quite paying attention because he had other things to worry about like famine, world wars etc.

Anyway, these are two feautures of myself that I never feel really fits my body.

My feet I know small feet are common but I have size 5.5 size feet. All my friends my height have at least size 7 feet. Whenever I wear running shoes, people just point and say,"Look how tiny they are!" Why do I have to look? I've had them virtually all my life so wouldn't you think I know? Doesn't help that I am Asian and we have that feet-binding tradition...

My bottom lip My lip never really seems to fit. Especially the bottom one. I am forever biting on them and it drives me mad. Last week, I accidentally bit it really hard and now I have a sore. Plus, it's a little bigger than it usually is on the side that I bit it. It hurts to eat and you all know how much I love food. Very upsetting.

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Posted in Me-ness

I was born in the Chinese Year of the Snake. Suppossedly this means that I am business savvy, hard working, charming, and gregarious. It also says that I am a possessive and jealous lover, someone who expects exacting results from all who surrounds them less they suffer the sting of my venomous anger. hmmmm.....

Why doesn't it also say anywhere that I will shed skin every Fall/Winter? Because I do. My feet, despite rigorous moisterizing with numerous foot creams will shed all of it's skin for the first month of a cold spell.

How weird is that?

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Posted in Me-ness, Weirdness

As you know, I have been plagued by unknown allergies for years. After endless testings and scores of doctors, no one has yet been able to determine the exact cause of my allergies. There was this naturopathic doctor who did at least manage to isolate some foods or beverages that I was "sensitive" to. I adhered to her list for maybe one month but since seafood, wheat, rice and soy were part of the "do not eat" list I decided that life was too short to not eat things I loved. I had made the conscious decision that I would have to live with pills for the rest of my life. Included on that list was also various forms of alcohol, especially beer.

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Posted in Me-ness

I promised myself that I would never talk about these things in this site - politics, religion and my own personal relationships. Yet, one cannot help but talk about these things if they are important to you and if they are a big part of your life. I am a very opinionated person about all these things but that being said, I am also one who appreciates open discussion about issues and even often welcome an opinion other than mine. Often times, when difference of opinions are aired out without malice, we tend to learn a lot from them. Or at least I think so.

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Posted in Me-ness, What's Buggin' Me

I am a hairless wonder, a true-au-natural, hairless wonder. I mean other than the parts (part) where you're suppose to have some, I really don't have much body hair. The ones that I do, are really super fine so you barely see them.

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Posted in Me-ness

Sometimes when I am bored, I am just so bloody irritating... I am at Stefan's office asking random questions and if he wasn't such a saint, I am sure he would have choked me by now.

Maybe, it because I have been working so hard these past few days. Part of it has to do with the fact that Kelvin and Irene are in London right now. Stef's brother and sister-in law live there as well. I just want them all to be safe.

Part of it has to do with the fact that I am just an irritant at times. But before you call the kettle black, realize that we all get like this once in awhile....

Stef is a saint...

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Posted in Me-ness

So Stefan sometimes edits my blog. Only because I am a hasty typer and I rarely ever re-read my stuff to make sure that all my t's are crossed and my grammar is correct. There are times when I do catch it but usually Mr. Anal Retentive will do it before I do. The thing with Stef is that he is also Mr. P.C and sometimes will omit or replace certain words because he thinks I will be offensive to someone out there. (Geez, we can't please everyone!) Anyways, he just told me of an edit that he did and really this time I think he's gone too far! Surely, I am allowed to call myself a retard? Sheesh!

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Posted in Me-ness

I've been known to swear occasionally. Actually, I swear a lot. I think it's really healthy for you. For some odd reason my mum thinks that if she makes soulful cow eyes and tsks! tsks! loud enough it will make me mend my ways.

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Posted in Me-ness

As you all know, I am a huge fan of Dooce and lately she's been talking a lot about poop. Actually, she talks a lot about it in general. Anyways, this last particular entry, May 4th - The one thing we KNOW she inherited from me made me recollect a distant childhood memory.

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Posted in Family Shenanigans, Me-ness, Weirdness

All my life, I have been boyish and angular. This was particularly apparent when in high school, friends developed boobs and hips and I remained the same, a rectangle. Today, as I was walking down the street, I caught a reflection of myself and realized that I am no longer a rectangle but a PEAR! You know, in the fashion magazines they have all these dumb names to describe a woman's body shape. Well, a pear basically means you're titless and you have a large backside. Or at least a little disproportionate in the hip-butt area compared to the rest of you.

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Posted in Me-ness

I was originally going to lie about this because sometimes I do that - it's a weird thing I have about waiting to hear or see people's reactions to something I do before confessing to actually doing it. Maybe because I think so many of my friends are so super talented and I am a little mediocre in comparison especially when it comes to crafty things.

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Posted in Joy-Friends, Me-ness, Needles, Bows and Toes

So, you know how I said I was going to divorce my hairdresser? The problem is that I have had so many compliments on it that I am not sure what to do. I personally find it annoying although it definitely does have a style. So I think for now, I will let it grow out and get it styled by someone else to what I actually wanted. Come Fall when I know I want something new, I'll go back to the current hairdresser.

Cheating, you say? A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do.

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Posted in Me-ness

You always go into a relationship with the most optimistic views about it - this time it will be different, this time it will be better, there will be more laughter, joy and love, this time it will not end. You go into it timidly but in good faith, thinking that you will not repeat the mistakes of the past. For awhile, you have a great time and you think all is hunky dory. You have the same pursuits, you like all the same things, you even start finishing one another's sentences!

But then something happens and the spark that once seemed like it would never dim, does. Someone makes a mistake, and you forgive them but you don't forget. After many, you start thinking that there must be something better out there. But you stick it out for awhile, but disappointment sinks its ugly claws in and you can't shake it.

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Posted in Me-ness

So after much huffing and puffing around the country, and trying to keep up with people who obviously party way more than me and are twice my age (shameful! I must try to rectify the weeninessof my sad situation), my body just decided to say, "Quit it! We're losers! Get it through your head! We are NOT meant to do this" and then decided to give me a major sinus attack Sunday.

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Posted in Me-ness

So I was a little slack on the workouts this week, and Stef, dear boy that he is, thought he was being "motivating" by giving me a hard time about it. To be fair, I do usually need a push as I don't have a natural yearning to go to the gym, and those of you who do, are sick, sick people. Anyways, but I really did have a good reason this time, it being "my time of the month."

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Posted in Me-ness

I don't know why but I can never be a klutz with an excuse. I never fall when I am teetering on 4 inch heels but put me in flip flops or running shoes and I always trip in the most animated ways. It's as if some force out there, is constantly trying to remind me to laugh at myself. Well, let me tell you, FORCE-OUT-THERE, I think I laugh too much as it is.

Today, I was on my way back from a dinner date with Stef and sure enough, I trip on the steps that step down to our elevator floor. Slipped off the first step, and literally boink-boink-boinked down the last four on my ass! Sigh! To think I was going to write about how my ass stopped hurting today....

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Posted in Me-ness

Many people other than those closest to me do not realize that I am an Extroverted Introvert. You would never guess it when you first meet me as I tend to be tremendously outgoing and engaging. In fact, I am actually quite shy, painfully so at times. My gregariousness happens to be my "wall," or "white noise" as I like to call it, a way of distancing myself from people that I haven't quite decided whether they are friend or foe.

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Posted in Me-ness, This is Why